Blog Anak Dara Cik Mat

gruelling part of growing up

2012-03-06T02:08:00.000+08:00

Well, hello there. Hawauyu?

Ok, boleh baling telur sebab blog dah semakin hari semakin bosan. Orang pemalas nak convey ideas memang camni.

So, I'm back in new semester. Alhamdulillah although I can get better results if I hadn't fooling around w myself, alas, Mr.Midon proceed me to part six. Can't thank him a million enough. First day of school was cool. I've set upon myself some goals. Academically, spiritually and few important aspects of life.

I'm hoping in heading the right directions. I want to live in NOW but am wanting for something good for the future as well.

just turned 21 last December, I find adulthood is quite a combination of exhaustion and satisfaction. It depends on how you perceive life, moments and the effort you take. Some things keep remind me of what do I want to do in life, actually. I'm at the age where I could've at least accomplished something good in life or in a direction where I shall be both happy and feeling life is reward.

Christian Siriano won Project Runway when he was 21. Adele had Grammys at what, 24? Ezrin had his design published in a design website at 21 jugak I think and Najwa Latif had bought a car, paid cash, while she's still in high school, not to forget, Aiman has become a Malaysia YouTube phenomenon at 20/21. Not saying that I should upload a YouTube video of myself and gain views from public, but they had accomplished something in their life at such young age.

And me, still struggling in this gruelling part of growing up.

Back to school.

First day we were given esquee project, without any further ado, of redesign the look for the ever dreadful cafeteria of the faculty. Hopefully UiTM will have some budget of improving the café's condition soon. Well, the esquee is due on next Monday. Basically when you get into the higher year of studies, everything will be dropped on you lap at the very first hello of the first day of class. No surprise there. But I did have a blank moment while lecturers was giving few two cents on what part six will endure. No surprise there either. HAHA.

Growing up is a bit painful. You start to miss childhood. Where you regret of hoping to become adult, then, and you felt that you should have joined Peter Pan to Neverland. You slowly starting to move far and more far than home. You slowly spent less of your school breaks with parents. You slowly spent less time with your inner self, gradually, until you reach the age where its the time for your kids to feel it too.

And what sucks most when you grow up, you always have something to say about everything. Good or bad, up front or down back, right or left, inside or outside, we tend to become the judge of the world where we decide what's good for others, for self and everything about us is never wrong. Well admit it, denying the wrongs we've done/said only adding insults to the injuries.

Lovers will become friends and friends will at some point become strangers. There will be back stabbings, betrayals, talks behind backs all sorts of stuffs. These are one of most gruelling part in growing up. Not that am saying I haven't done all these, but man, when it is your turn to be the subject, it hurts real bad. Pulling out a bandage pun tak sesakit tu.

Therefore, even though I don't quite afford to own a car,cashly paid like Najwa Latif, or preparing a debut in US like Yuna, I want to achieve something, for myself, this time around. I want to know, like Luke Brandon in Confessions of Shophaholic by Sophie Kinsella quote, I'm asking if I am a good investment. how much I 'worth'. Not for others, but for myself.

We'll come to the part where everything seems so hard, and feeling like everyone trying to push you down, but if we can survive before, why not now?

And in order to meet the goals, some adjustments needed to be done.
Tengah slowly mengajar diri ke direction yang betul. A step at a time.
Moga tak terpesong niat ni, tetaplah teguhla niat ni.

p/s. I don't know if anyone ever read my blog. So, thank you for reading :)

Le Trip to the Highland 2

2012-02-07T21:19:00.000+08:00

me is back with more update.

ok. sambung day two of the trip.

day two off we went to Ladang Teh Boh at Sungei Palas. I didn't get to see the actual Sungei Palas but the Tea Centre was so nice and very cool. Plus, the open space design caught my eyes, I did'nt want to look away from it.

but before reaching there we stopped by to pasar pagi, look around and spent breakfast there.

the design of the toilet. simple, au natural and sustainable :)

after that, we went to raju's strawberry farm. lemme tell you, this uncle raju is one of generous person I've ever knew. and he knows how to keep 'em customers coming to the farm. the desserts serve there were absolute delicious. we need no lunch, just desserts to keep our tummy filled that day :)

yummy!

petangnya lepak rumah je preparing for the BBQ later that night. and right after maghrib, keluar pegi pasar malam just to look around and buy few stuffs. plus me, mencari cendawan goreng!

just so happened that, that day was Ridwan's 22nd birthday, so planned a tiny surprised for him

so that's it. day two. coming up, day three. last day :)

p/s. uploading those pictures took me forever. haih~ padahal ada 3folder of more 100shots kot.

Le Trip to the Highland

2012-01-31T21:16:00.001+08:00

Cerita ni sebenarnya dah separuh basi, tapi nak aku hangatkan jugak.

So on 12th January, few of us went to Cameron Highland as our mini studio trip before semester's break and saje je pun nak enjoy after berhempas pulas tak tido siang malam hadap final project. Naik dua kereta je, Fareha's Kelisa and Syahmie's MyVi. 10 of us altogether so, just nice je la.

Yours truly together with Eka, Ridwan, and Mira were with Syahmie, the rest, Sarah, Aifaa, Dendang and KhooChai were with Fareha. Lepas pegi amek periuk nasik kat rumah nenek eka in gombak, brunch bagai, off we went to Le Cameron.

oh by the way, bangunan kat sentul CANTEK WAHLAWEI. noob KL seperti saya memang tak pernah sampai kat area area sana.

Berbekalkan impian untuk memborong strawberries dan feelingfeeling di celah celah pokok teh bajet pelakon hindustan, maka duit pun dah withdraw siap siap ni supaya cukup cash kat sana. Ceh, padahal belambak je ATM. bukan pi oversea pun.

we went up thru simpang pulai, and got down thru tapah

some of us, berhenti for nature's calls and some stretching

eka and khoochai act as camerapersons

I was under the impression that Cameron is no longer as chilly as before, after hearing so much 'complaints' that Cameron dah tak macam dulu, so, the pandai me tidaklah membawa sebarang sweater, hanya cardigan nipis and big shawl SAHAJA. pandai pandai. ini kes kajian tempatan dapat A la ni.

us girls in our room

we rented an apartment, Parkland Hill Apartment if I'm not mistaken, us girls shared one room, and the boys have two rooms for them. two for each room.Each rooms was provided with bathroom so no need to keluar mandi sambil pakai tudung ke apa. We reached there pun dah almost five, so we let the drivers rest dulu while lepak depan TV, watching cartoons.

khusyuk layan TV. aifaa in yellow shirt tu dah tertido dah.

memang datang cameron semata mata nak tengok tv je pun

hujan some more, sejuk tak payah cakap la. heh. nothing happened sangat on that day, since dah nak malam. so we went for dinner and bought barbecue ingredients for the next night.

ternampak barang barang comel. memang singgahla.

me and dendang

after membeli belah sarung tangan dan stokin tebal dek kesejukan melampau malam tu, sebab cuaca pun hujan, windy, off we went back to le apartment.

me and fareha prepared the chicken, while sarah buat marinate sauce.

waiting for group photo

me, sarah, ridwan,syami, mira, dendang, aifaa, fareha, eka and khoo chai

so dah settle satu malam. that night we watched 500days of summer together on star movies. ended up me watching alone, semua tertidur depan TV berbalut selimut. had to kejut few of them masuk bilik since it was a very very very coldddd night.

ok. next day kita buat entry baru okay?
toodles people :)

Demoted.

2012-01-31T20:38:00.000+08:00

As quickly it started, as quickly it ends.

We'd better off as friends, perhaps.
He still puts smiles on me face though.

Friendship will never end.

Amicable split, now I'm back on market.
Not that I'm proud or happy to announce that, but until someone that's truly the one,
that's it.

I'm glad we didn't go far yet, no broken hearts needed to be mend.
and in the midst of improving the life's quality,
ad-deen wise as well duniawi,
this is better. for me, for him.

so, if you're reading, lucky you,
cuz I've deleted the post of relationship status went back to single,
and only told few ones whose super close to me heart.

cuz for me, emotion and love life matter are so private, I don't even talk bout it with family.
plus I'm the type who bottled up feelings and arrange them in the closet.

so, shall I say,
I'm back on market?

p/s. semoga bertemu yang terus boleh digelar sebagai menantu lelaki kepada parents aku.
cuz I really meant business after this.

dan jangan tanya kenapa, buang masa cuz I wont answer a thing.
if I wanna tell you, I would have, in the first place. I've always been like that.

Kids React To

2012-01-25T06:57:00.000+08:00

One Tree Hill

2012-01-25T06:54:00.000+08:00

I've always love watching One Tree Till.
I was lucky to start watching the series right from the first episode and immediately was falling head over heels w Chad Michael Murray. but of course, that did not last long enough before I went for James Lafferty.

but the recent seasons, after season 5, were so getting lame, perhaps they've graduated from high school, hence, more adult conflicts which don't attract me much.

plus, no more Mr.Murray and Ms.Burton.
Ms. Bush, Mr. Lafferty and Ms. Lenz-Galeotti stayed but no one can pull off OTH like the original casts did.

besides all the drama and love-hexagon, I've always love the quotes in the series, along w awesome, suit-the-scene OSTs. Often I use some of the words and put them in the words of wisdoms' space in school's yearbook.

taken from
http://onetreehillweb.net/karenscafe

these are some of my favs, where they're stuck in corner of my mind

"There is a tide in the affairs of men. Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. But omitted, and the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat, and we must take the current when it serves -- or lose the ventures before us." -- William Shakespeare, "Julius Ceaser"

"E.E. Cummings once wrote; 'To be nobody-but-yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.'"

"Katherine Anne Porter once said; 'There seems to be a kind of order in the universe…in the movement of the stars and the turning of the Earth and the changing of the seasons. But human life is almost pure chaos. Everyone takes his stance, asserts his own right and feelings, mistaking the motives of others, and his own.'"

"Khalil Gibran once wrote; 'You're reason and your passion are the rudder.. and the sails of your seafaring soul. If either be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas. For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burn to it’s own destruction.'"

"Henry James once wrote: 'Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.'"

I should try to get into literature. or maybe I shouldn't.

p/s. Anybody flying out to Japan? I want Norwegian Wood's DVD. hehe

Don't be Scared

2012-01-24T08:16:00.001+08:00

2012-01-05T18:19:00.000+08:00

I've been busy
sorry for no updates.

well, if you ever follow me on twitter, I'm there almost round the clock, updating every moment of my life which sometimes can be happening or boring or simply plain. eceh, ayat pancing follower je.

quite a stressful weeks despite bejaya curi time on last weekend to have a family vacay in hadyai. the no so best part was we have to leave early due to sudden flood. since kami datang thru land, by all means we chartered a van, so kena la balik in case tak nak stranded. there's goes my shopping spree. but afraid not, jusco still have sales. hahahaha. manage to buy my dream Vincci that I have been eye-ing, three pair of new jeans courtesy of Voir and three new handbags.

yes sire, I'm a shopaholic. now grab me and enrol me in the rehab program pronto!

its been long since aku bershopping bagai gila seperti mentioned above. guys, don't shower me w stuffs ok. you only add more cravings to my addiction.

my exam is going to start tomorrow and since I have only two papers and one submission to go, I'll be free immediately after 11th January. and will be here till early February before I'm heading back to Perlis, the land I will always call home. jyeah!

my studio mates are planning to have a trip to Cameron after papers.
double jyeah!

till then, to everyone, happy 2012!

alhamdulillah

2011-12-23T01:16:00.000+08:00

I'm officially legal.
21years old today.

Alhamdulillah.
Thank you mak for enduring such pain to have me in this life.
Thank you ayah for raising spoilt little girl that I am, until now.
Thank you abang abang for teaching me what's life, protect me from harm and
being the best siblings I could ever wish.
Thank you kakak kakak, for being sisters I wish I have before :)
Thank you niece and nephew for bringing smiles to my face every time.

Thank you Danial, for entering this life and gives me joy and smiles.
Thank you Anie, for being the awesome best friend I could ever have.
Thank you yatie, for being the partner in every crime I do in life.
Thank you Fatin, for being the most understanding best friend ever.
Thank you Ariff, for being there where I need someone the most.
Thank you Izzat, for being the one who lends ears if ever I'm spilling out problems.

Thank you everyone around me, for making me happy, sharing the pain, and most importantly, for being in my life :)

I'm 21 and rocking babeh!!!

I'm happy to announce

2011-12-18T08:25:00.000+08:00

its official.

remember danial from the crushes entry?

me and him.
after six years of pulling ropes with each other.

lots of prayers and love
in making this commitment between us lasts.

p/s. in the midst of struggling to finish the requirements needed for ID final project for this sem, I manage to get a guy hahahaa teruk kena perli dengan studio mates. well, I dont consider him as nothing but as an early present before I turn legal (yes people,I'll be 21 in few days!)

I guess my wish on my last birthday came true after all.
:)

pray for us.

in another life, i'd be yours

2011-12-01T04:09:00.000+08:00

sesungguhnya belum ada yang benar benar berjaya membuka rasa hati ini untuk melupakannya.

waiting game

2011-11-25T18:07:00.000+08:00

believe it or not,
most human has been playing this game nearly their whole life.

if anyone knows me well enough, they's know that I don't mind waiting even for an hour, as long as they're coming. but how many people can stand in playing this game? I don't know if I have the best patience out there, but I can assure that waiting is not a fun game to play, even for me. you'll get everyone restless and of course, they'd bullshitting you every minute for waiting for you.

either waiting for love, or simply waiting for your friend to come down from the house after 30minutes you're in font of the gate, it is fucking not cool.

appreciate time as you want people to appreciate you.

if you're going to be late (in love area, if you wanna reject him/her), let the people know.
no excuse would make everyone feels better. misery of waiting is as bad as you getting a cold. you cant sleep well, weak and soulless.

and saying sorry sometimes could not bring back all those times that had just been wasted for you.

imagine, kau tunggu orang dan orang tu banyak menyusahkan engkau, dia datang cakap, "sorry la" je, hati kau rasa lega jugak ke time tu? tak kan? hati kau marah marah lagi kan?

like I said,
waiting is not a fun game to play. in the end everything will be suck, and everyone will be freaking annoyed.

I carry it in my heart

2011-11-17T17:30:00.000+08:00

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

effing busy.

2011-11-11T22:36:00.000+08:00

I think most of us students of college degree are having the midterm's break for a week. Kan?

but no heaven.

ASSIGNMENTS or should I call them holidays' spoilers were packed along in the suitcase when we're on our way home or kampung la kan?

I have been planning a trip to Ipoh for quite sometime now but couldn't manage to find the time to fit in my days especially after school days reopen. heh, I'm missing Fatin, longing to see Azmin whom I have not meet after we parted back when we're leaving the National Service camp. We keep in touch and he still values me as a good friend and vice versa.

I look through the photos in my laptop and I find this weird.

Every person I've been close to, before, had not take much photographs with me. I is sad. I is sad. Azmin, Mira, Emma, Syud, Iffah, Fatin these people are important to me okay. Yet I only have a few pictures of them and no pics of Azmin at all. HEH THIS MAKES ME SAD MORE!

ME NEED PICTURES OF THESE GUYS~

I'm effing busy nowadays. Having no time to even catch a movie. Plus no one ask me to see a movie la oso. SADIS SADIS. I want to have time to go eat ais kacang with my friends, go watch movies and having fun for while, but I'm a walking zombie nowadays. And if I ever go to bed, I'll be sleeping like 12hours straight.

heh when got time to kill, I did nothing and ask for more jobs to do. Now, when I got no time to kill, I'm begging to have some spare time to enjoy life. hahahahha what a shame.

I'll turn 21 in December.

and I don't want to be 21 and sit by myself on weekends.

Life's too good to waste.

Textings, movies, joggings, trips etc. I'm longing for these now.

Heh kena adjust balik hidup. Jangan jadikan keja sebagai alasan. Se-effing busy mana sekalipun, I need to enjoy life.

A productive puteri. yeahh! lets strive towards that.

happy times

2011-11-10T14:46:00.000+08:00

Forgive me for neglecting the blog.

Am not having any writer's block to be honest but simply lazy to click on the 'new post' button and typing entries of countless stories I should have posted before. Now, those stories dah basi.

Heck gonna tell you guys anyway.

The weekend before Eiduladha, I was selected with few lucky ones to go to Dusun Eco Resort somewhere around Bentong/Janda Baik for Induction Camping Programme along with the first year juniors (part one and part two). The lucky ones are consist of the fast track students (13 of us) and the diploma batch (5 of them). Well it should have been more than that, lets just say everyone else got other commitments.

We stayed there for three days and two nights. Two dorms located at Desa Rimba part and the girls were sharing the dorms with UPNM *not sure if this is the correct short form for Univ. Pertahanan ~* First impression, sucks man, there's no phone network service here unless you're using Digi. I guess those yellow mascots do follow you where ever you're.

Yes, people, we have to board on the lorry in order to really reach the resort itself. I recommend for those who really wanna isolate yourself from the outside world, you could stay here for the rest of your life. And mind you, the lorry was no joke. It was like a roller coaster. A lorry coaster more like it. You got to hang onto your dear life if you ever wanna see the sun on next day again.

Oh, Let me tell you, this one fine man looks like Sung Kang a.k.a Han Lue form the Fast Furious movies. No kidding, he does. And he acts like he is Han Lue. It made me wonder, was he the real Sung Kang? Hahaha. Friends laughed at me cause I kept mentioning about him and went silly every time he passed us by. He rode bikes like a boss okay, *melting*.
Asked Kuchai to take a picture of him to prove to you guys in this entry. XD

The rest are pictures of what we did throughout the weekend. We don't really have a tentative of programmes and activities so what we did was, enjoying every game Dusun Eco Resort offered!

before the ups and downs of lorry coaster

major crush on that guy in red shirt. he's in part two which makes him my junior but he 's born in 1988. camne tau? stalker mode was on after we went back to shah alam hahaha

harassing Kuchai's DSLR

the guys were playing Frisbee. Kuchai's Frisbee to be exact.

ice breaking night. we didn't really did the ice breaking rather than having laugh with each other

the next morning

the resort served quite delicious meals.

before Jungle Trekking

we're avoiding pacat at all cost. seriously I've turned more silly than I could've ever imagine when friend told me there was a pacat trying to get into my shoes. lompat lompat and making faces. so silly of me okay. malu malu

checking for pacat after we're done trekking.

PLKN thingy. I didn't do most of the activity. MALAS. SAKIT BADAN!

the next day before flying fox. we have to cross this! gayat wei!

before taking off

zikr along the crossing. trust me they thought I was pissed off cause Fareha was slowing down, while I was chanting my zikr. I was like HELL NO I'M TERRIFIED OF HEIGHTS LA WEI

partner in crime : Sarah :)

the flying fox station was a bit dodgy. but heck, that abang sung kang was there. I was more than happy XD

taking off! yeeehhhaaaa me wanna do it again and again!

waiting for the rest of the gang *part5 gang* to finish

the last ceremony. received my cert for participating the camp

while waiting for the lorry coaster to take us back to the drop off station

camwhoring sessions.

happy faces

So that's all. There were swimming sessions but I wouldn't put the pictures here. A bit inappropriate having soaked guys and girls in this. We're all happy we went there cause we did have fun with each other and we named Kuchai, the guy with DLSR camera and purple shoes on last picture as Jantan of the Month due to his jantan-ness and the pictures above are credited to him.

for those who were there as well for the camp,

WE ROCK THE CAMP!!

I disconnect

2011-10-20T22:20:00.000+08:00

tak semena mena saya teringat pada hazlan semalam, on bus, seating by myself like I always do on our (the whole studio)'s trip back to Shah Alam from Melaka.

despite having fun at Melaka which I can totally see myself living there or having fun there with future mr. significant other *oh please come sooner!*, saya nak salahkan playlist lagu dalam iPod saya yang memainkan lagu lagu yang mengingatkan saya dengan hazlan.

So what I did was I texted Izzat. I don't know who can I turn to without awkwardness getting into the scene. To be honest, as much I love Anie, Yatie and Fatin, buat as problem buyers in the lovelife department, they fail a bit. haha aku sengaja cari pasal kan, girls? ok ok hukum aku lepas kita jumpa okay?

So, I asked Izzat ;

"Is it wrong to miss the ex even though there's no possible ways of getting into relationship with him back again?"

I hesitated for a moment, knowing it has been two years since the breakup and it has been months hazlan didn't contact me. He used to occasionally texted me, asking how my life has been and I would feel somehow bad/good at once when replying to him. haha nevermind that.

From here, I can imagine everyone else's answer ;

Anie : Hang pasaipa? *if I reply to her telling how I was feeling she would say* Ala, relaxla, nanti hang jumpa la sapa sapa. Jom keluaq jom weekend ni?

Yatie : Sabaq wei. hahaha

Fatin : Babe kenapa ni? Kau ni suke camni. Nak kena babap? Ala, relaxla jangan ingat ingat dah. takmau camtu

Emma : I cant sebab she didn't even know the guy

Ariff : Ni awat plak dahhhhh?

I rest my case. Haha.

I didn't expect the above answers, which sometimes annoy the hell out of me. Cuz I'm in situation which I can't relax, I don't feel that great and rather than "listening" or "consulting", I need "understanding". Leave the consulting part to myself haha I'm good in making myself feel comfortable at some point.

So Izzat asked me, why won't I text Hazlan?

He doesn't ask that much. Simple questions. Getting into the situation rather fast without me have to spill the beans that much. I guess he didn't want to know all the details, rather than only wanted to say the right words.

Why Won't I Text Hazlan?

I still have his number in the phone book. Niat masih menyimpan untuk emergency. After he sent me off one fine night in Ramadhan last two years which we're already broke up, we had serious discussions on how we both still feel towards each other after he bade me farewell. I'm in the bus holding tears from falling. That night is the last night we've ever spoken with each other about all the misses and whatnot.

1. He is already move on. Found another girl.

2. I'm still single after him. Don't want to let him know I feel lonely sometime. And this makes me remember what I said to him "There's no one after you". I guess doa masa itu dimakbulkan.

3. It would be awkward.

4. I don't want to hurt Nisa *yes people, I know her name, where she lives, what she does, she and he told me herself/himself*. If I were to be her, I'd be hurt.

5. Who text their ex(es)?

I don't plan to get back with him, any way.

I miss him for being there when I need him the most, so basically I'm missing the act, and the act only. HE, can be anyone else for that matter.

Saya tak text dia untuk bagitau saya rindu dia sebab saya rasa takde sebab untuk dia tahu. Since I don't have any plan of getting back to him.

So what say you?

Saya masih cling onto the past?

Saya sebenarnya tak let go lagi perasaan saya?

atau kesunyian tu menguasai?

True. True. Its True.

well, MAYBE.

saya rasa saya okay je.

tak salahkan rindu pada yang pernah singgah dalam hidup kita?

the beneath

2011-10-07T00:55:00.000+08:00

as much as I want to say that I'm okay.
I am not.

despite the chaos, the laughters shared,
I am still not (okay).

gosh.
I need someone.
I might have a downpour any days now.

dan seperti biasa.
tiada reaksi.
jika ada, aku dah malas nak bersuara.
jika ada, aku dah kembali kumpul rasa.

cuz if I ever say that I'm in need, at that moment,
I AM REALLY IN NEED AT THAT MOMENT ONLY.
once the moment passes by,
try all you want,
I'll never say a word about it.

I may have made the biggest mistake in my life. #justsaying

semester ke-5 tahun ke-3 | embarking new journey

2011-10-04T18:25:00.000+08:00

rindu saya?
mestilah tideks. kan? haha
sapa nak rindu budak comel cam aku ni kann?

now I'm in my third year of studies, in fifth semester, got 3 semesters left insyaAllah. I didn't complete my diploma due to taking the fast track programme here in UiTM.

the projects are the same-o-same macam time diploma dulu but with a little bit of twist. they are very interesting projects which if great results produced out of them, they will be mind-blowing. although I'm a bit disappointed with the studio's condition where part 5 is divided into two studios and we're million miles apart. this is a bit menyusahkan since sometimes nak pegi tengok keje group lain you have to muster up the kerajinan to walk to the other studio plus there are stairs I MEAN IT STAIRS LOTS OF STAIRS involved.

and if you were to combine theory classes, except the lecture theatre, everywhere else is quite impossible to conduct a class of mere 60+ of us. and mind you lecture theatre hanya free on certain periods and nights. NOT COOL. I understand that Perak is a practically new campus so the facilities there are way better so juniors if you're reading patut bersyukur dapat compartment baru so jangan banyak songeh nak complaint yuran pun parents ko/PTPTN?Gomen yang bayar~

I just wish there are budgets from UiTM *since we're the induk campus, the headquarters* in improving the condition of all the studios. the Architecture School, that is.

especially now that I'm more eager to learn, to explore and to succeed.

anyone staying in Shah Alam?
lets go to section 2 and have Fradoo ABC.

jom jom

menang benar benar salahku

2011-08-19T01:07:00.000+08:00

sifatmu nyata padaku
sifatku cermin dirimu
serupa namun berbeza
segala ada pada kita
takdir yang sudah temukan
suratan atas pilihan
siapa itu kau harus tahu
siapakah kan membahagiakanmu
lantas mewarnai duniamu
dan sebelum kau setuju
kau perlu tahu ini salahku
memang benar benar salahku
harusku terus memburu
izinku curi kasihmu
untukmu jua untukku
ku impi izinnya begitu
jika cinta bukan pilihan
jika rasa itu hanya usikan
jika rindu hanya bertamu
kurelakan ia berlalu
kerna ku tahu terlewatnya ku
benarkah terlewatnya bagimu
dan aku tahu ini salahku
memang benar benar salahku
maafkan
maafkanlah segala perasaan
yang mungkin saja kan mendampingmu
mungkin dia sahaja yang tahu
dan jika benar-benar bererti
katakanlah lafazmu terakhir
katakanlah-nya setulus hati
aku kan relakan kau pergi
maafkan aku dan aku pergi

never ever let it happen

2011-08-13T21:17:00.000+08:00

Oh hai pengunjung setia.

Hari ni ~~RAJIN~~ sedikit untuk sesi story telling.

I’ve noticed these past few days aku merasa jengkel baca status kawan kawan kat FB. Apa? Kau pun jengkel baca status aku? Ok fine. Unfriend sekarang!

Bila bercinta ni adatlah kan bergaduh. Bila pandai bercinta ni memang akan ada la yang tak sampai ke garisan penamat. Eh tak. Bukan suruh lari berpasangan atau lari berganti ganti, tapi kalau kau pass paper BM SPM kau aku rasa tak payah nak terang la kot.

Baru baru ni kawan kawan update status, mengutuk diri sendiri, blaming self sebab sakitkan hati/kecewakan/putus cinta/bergaduh dengan pasangan masing masing. Stating yang diri tu tak berguna la, tak sempurna la, tak layak ahhh all those sorts, well go figure if you want to know better.

For me, reflections itu bagus. Muhasabah diri for the better you. Untuk self improvement. Duk jadi narcissist pun tak guna jugak. Duk perasan diri tu disukai disayangi dicintai ramai pun boleh mengundangkan the urge feeling to type

-_______-'' kat ruang comment. Lisa Surihani pun ada anti-fans okay. Apatah lagi artis KPop.

Ok. Yang tak bagusnya wahai pembaca budiman sekalian adalah kenapa perlu rasa teruk tentang diri sendiri sedangkan selama ni ada orang yang boleh je terima, sayang, cinta, suka kat kau for who you are? What I’ve learnt from my past relationships adalaha jangan sesekali let someone else make us feel bad about ourselves without our consent. Tapi kalau perangai kau memang sedikit huduh dan perlukan repairing, jangan le pegi buat riot curi PSP,nasik bekal sahur dan patahkan rahang orang pulak. Buruk wei perangai cenggitu, buruk.

Kalau orang tu tak boleh terima diri kau, kehidupan kau buat apa la susah susah nak merana hidup merintih bak warga asing tak boleh balik beraya di kampong? Oh nehhhiii kabhi nehhi. Tak boleh begitu. Kalau si dia tak boleh terima diri kau, dan tinggalkan kau, bukanla bermakna kau tu jahat cam lahanat ke, nakal cam lagu Aliff Satar tu ke, tak. Maka declare la kat orang ramai yang sebenarnya losing in the game adalah si dia dek kehilangan rupawan/jelitawan/kacak-wan/hensen-wan macam kau.

Apa? Jerawat banyak so feeling tak cantik/hensem? Muka ala ala mintak penampar Serbia? Kulit gelap bak udang terbakar? Ehhhhhh sape derang nak judge diri kau? Aiman Azlan pun cakap, leave the judging part to Allah. Kalau kau rasa kau cukup sihat, pintar, cerdas, cergas dan cukup sifat (rabun tu tolak tepi, sape cakap laki pakai spek tak hensem? Cuma kurang kacak dari Keanu Reeves saja. Perempuan pulak, sape cakap pakai spek is a major turn-off? Cute okay. Cuba contohi Betty La Fea, lama lama cantik oo. Tapi bergantung pada keadaan diri la untuk mencapai version cantik Betty. Jangkamasa? Don’t ask me XD ), kau dah boleh dikategorikan cantik.

Muhasabah diri tu bagus. Tapi kalau terlebih sampai muhasarawak memang tak bagus. Kalau kau yakin kau tak buat salah dalam/sepanjang hubungan tu, don’t feel bad bout yourself. Get on your feet and move forward. Akan ada yang boleh menerima kau, boleh menerima seluruh keluarga kau, yang keluarganya menerima kau seadanya. Dan kalau sekarang kau dan si dia sedang berjuang untuk diterima, sebaik baiknya jangan cakap saja, show it. Jangan sampai kau dipijak pijak (literally, bukan sesi pijak memijak belakang badan) kau biar orang buat kau rasa macam loser, useless. Your parents don’t raise you to be a loser. They’ve raised you beautifully enough to be who you are today.

And in future, kalau ada orang buat kau rasa teruk pasal diri kau, patahkan rahang dia! Eh, silap, tinggalkan derang kalau derang tu kawan/partner, kalau bos, mintak keje lain sbb you’ll be working for him/her, basically you’ll be part of stuffs that generate income dia jugak, kalau mak ayah, err..ni kena banyak berdoa,solat,tawakal. Kalau adik beradik misalannya abang, sama ada smack down buat stone cold stunner atau chokeslam seround, ~~ngadu kat makwe derang~~ or simply sabar sebab iklan digi pun pernah cakap “aku kan abang”.

The significant other should either completes you or be the other half of you, accept you for who you are, who you will be and supports you in whatever good you want to do in life, making sure you’ll never stray from the right path you should be on, and having ups and downs together regardless any condition.

But of course, restu ibu ayah pun kena amik kira jugak.

If tak diterima jugak, you should know that he/she is not meant for you. Hello, kau bukan tengah berlakon drama korea nak feeling feeling ala ala gu junpyo dengan geum jandi.

Yang tengah single, and ready to mingle, ahhh jangan nak gatai gatai bercinta. Suruh ja mak ayah carik jodoh lepas tu kawen terus. << note to self sebenarnya. Haha.

p/s. kalau ada kawan kawan yang baca ni terasa, I ‘speak’ from the heart. It’s for your own good too. Amik yang jernih, yang keruh tu kita basuh dengan Clorox okay?

harapan ramadhan

2011-07-29T19:49:00.000+08:00

oh hello.
maafla ye membiarkan blog ini usang tidak terusik bak rumah tinggal kak limah.
jangan risau, tak ada hantu kopek ataupun rangka orang perak di sini.
put the blame on me and only me
gomenasai mina!

maka tibalah ramadhan tahun ini.
dan silalah percaya akibat ketidakwarasan, baju raya mengikut warna tema pilihan abang aku sudah pun dibeli padahal waktu beli duk puasa ganti lagi. tinggal nak pegi amek baju kurung yang ditempah jahit ja kat kawan ibunda tercinta seminggu dua lagi.

oh bila sebut sebut ramadhan ni tak sah la kalau tak cerita nostalgia nostalgia mengusik kalbu dan minda. ecece kemain lagi mengusik kalbu. kalau tanya aku semestila aku ada kenangan yang bermain macam cd rosak bila time bulan puasa. kenangan ni la menjadi point utama abang abang aku untuk menyakat aku bila kumpul satu family berbuka.

aku rasa time tu baru darjah enam. tak pasti. ada satu drama melayu pukul 6.30 kat tv2 yang aku memang follow. taktaula camna leh terfollow. mungkin harapan nak tengok power rangers musnah merajuk tengok drama melayu la bagi feeling feeling supaya terpujuk hati. mungkinla. kebetulan pulak bulan ramadhan time tu.

sejak azali lagi, rumah ni memang akan ada dua tv. supaya tak berebut. tv kat ruang makan abang abang dah conquer. so demi mendapatkan ketenangan dan kedamaian, aku beralih la ke tv mini portable ayah aku beli. tujuan penggunaan asal tv tu adalah utk dibawak time travel, so boleh tengok tv dalam kereta. waktu berbuka posa kat perlih ni plak antara yang lambat la kat seluruh malaysia ni. waktu orang KL bukak posa kalau 7.30, kami di perlih maybe 7.35.

so, time berbuka tu bila abang abang dah conquer tv, aku pun dengan rela hati bangun membawak pinggan nasik berisi lauk kegemaran dan air tebu ais gelas besar pegi pindah duduk ruang tamu dan bukak tv mini demi drama melayu itu. maka bila dah start drama tu, maka ralitlah aku leka dengan angan angan tak sudah. nasibla dah jadi kuat berangan ni.

maka kat tv pun azan. dan aku tanpa segan silu dan penuh keyakinan serta iman di dada menadah doa berbuka. makan lah aku sesuap dua nasik dan minum air tebu ais tadi tu dengan lahapnya.

"HA! HA! PUTERI TAK POSA! MAK!"
terkejut habaq hang!

rupanya abang aku perasan. aku ni punyala innocent time tu, aku lupa yang azan kat tv tu just for kawasan KL dan related areas. entah camna la rupa aku time abang aku sergah tu. ayoyo! lepas sorang sergah, semua ikut ejek. menangis la aku sebab ingat dah batal posa. drama melayu ke mana, air tebu selamat jugak dalam perut aku minum. hehe.

datangla ibunda memujuk. dan lepas tu time azan masuk bagi kawasan perlis, aku pun sambung balik makan. makan dalam sedu sedan sebab abang abang duk ejek lagi. mak pun dah tak kuasa nak marah. sampaikan lepas makan pun aku tanya mak aku, mak aku cakap takpe, tak sengaja, bukan saja saja makan. lepas tu mak gelak. hehe.

sampai sekarang aku ingat lagi.

harapan aku ramadhan ni?
tak ulang perbuatan di atas tu, dan dapatla meningkatkan iman serta pahala.

this one thing special about this ramadhan around,
I can spend the whole days with dear family and friends.
no more missing sahur and berbuka macam kat UiTM Perak. kesian dulu dah la tak sahur, berbuka plak sempat beli air je.
pernah sekali tertido lepas siap presentation sampai terlepas waktu berbuka and bila bangun, dah pukul 10 malam. tertido plak kat studio. bawah workstation, workstation plak kat hujung orang tak nampak.

thanks UiTM for making this happen due the 4months semester break.

and I wish for the readers to have a blissful Ramadhan this year
wherever you are :)

p/s. as much as aku happy dapat fasting dengan family, I do miss Perak so much!

and here we go

2011-07-13T08:13:00.000+08:00

for readers yang tertanya apa jadi dengan novel aku?

tergendala.

sebab?

...........*bunyik cengkerik*........

p/s aku dah buat draft. tapikan tinggalkan dalam word terkontang kanting. esok lusa la published.

seseorang seperti kamu

2011-07-04T18:44:00.000+08:00

I happened to NOT know about this talented singer, ADELE.
how I wish I'd listen to her sooner.
Came across with her song while watching BURBERRY fashion show in Beijing.

and right on, I fell head over heels with this particular song.

I heard, that your settled down.
That you, found a girl and your married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things, I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
It ain't like you to hold back or hide from the lie.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited.
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face & that you'd be reminded,
That for me, it isn't over.

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best, for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah.

You'd know, how the time flies.
Only yesterday, was the time of our lives.
We were born and raised in a summery haze.
Bound by the surprise of our glory days.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face & that you'd be reminded,
That for me, it isn't over yet.

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead", yay.

Nothing compares, no worries or cares.
Regret's and mistakes they're memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remembered you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remembered you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yay yeh yeah

Twice, Ages Ago, I Won the School Cross Country Competition

2011-06-23T20:23:00.000+08:00

taken from deviant art

Waktu darjah lima, aku dapat tempat ketiga keseluruhan merentas desa sekolah rendah aku. Sekolah mana tu takyah habaq la kot. Bukan anda anda pernah pi pun kan? Except readers aku yang satu sekolah la.

Darjah enam, aku tekad nak menjuarai merentas desa. And guess what? I won. Haha gelak bongkak ni. Dulu aku percaya, reason aku menang merentas desa adalah sebab minum LIVITA. caharem kan? Yea, I know. Oh ya, dua hari sebelum merentas desa tu, ayah beli tiga tin livita dan dua botol kecik livita tu. Aku minum sehari sebelum merentas desa dua tin dan satu botol kecik tu dan reserved-kan yang lebih untuk esoknya. Dan sebelum lari, aku habiskan satu tin dan satu botol kecik livita tu.

Aku fit dulu. Takat panjat Bukit Sami kat Seriab *orang perlis ja yang tahu tempat ni* tiap tiap hari aku buat. Aku selalu ikut jiran pegi panjat bukit tu. Sampai aku selalu lewat pegi tuisyen kat rumah pak long aku sebab panjat bukit tu. Waktu hingusan pulak, Noremon selalu buat training lari satu taman. Dia jadi coach, aku dengan Naim lari. Aku kecik tak tahu apa apa, so dia suruh lawan lari dengan Naim, aku rasa tercabar maklumlah darah muda, ikut lari. Sudahnya, memang stamina aku tinggi gila babeng.

Waktu form one, aku tetap nak defend-kan title kejuaraan aku walaupun di tempat (sekolah) baru. Aku masih fit. Walaupun dah kurangkan aktiviti. Waktu latihan saja aku jauh tinggalkan bebudak. Padahal latihan baru. Berlagak gila aku. Memang! Riak habis time tu. Hahaha. Ada la few yang tercabar dengan aku sebab diorang pun gila olahraga jugak. Hari kejadian, aku pecut dari garisan mula sampai jauh aku tinggalkan bebudak lain. Memang jauh aku tinggalkan. Aku siap boleh berhenti ikat tali kasut pun bebudak tu still jauh lagi. See, aku patut riak. hahaha. Geng olahraga pun cakap aku laju. Ececece. Bongkak habis.

form two aku dah slow down. Aku dapat tempat kesepuluh. Waktu latihan aku still tinggalkan budak jauh kira time latihan maintain juara la. Time hari perlawanan *macam lawan bola sepak lagaknya* aku demam. Alasan sangat kan? Tu la, riak lagi.

Kenapa aku cerita pasal zaman kegemilangan aku ni? Benda dah tujuh/lapan tahun lepas kot.

Sebab, hari ni aku balik jalan kaki dari McD Seksyen 3 Shah Alam sampai Kondominium Kristal Seksyen 7 Shah Alam. Kalau untuk orang perlis, its like from SMK Derma to taman belakang TNB tu la *kawasan rumah aku* and if you're living in Shah Alam, you should know, naik kereta memang lima minit dah sampai Kondo Kristal tu. Kondo Kristal ni kat belakang WorldWide@7 and Unisel tu. Dekat la dengan pintu belakang UiTM. Tapikan, kalau jalan kaki dari McD Seksyen 3 sampai Kondo Kristal tu, sejam weh! Aku start jalan pukul 6.30 petang, sampai rumah 7.30 petang.

Siap ada abang naik moto berhenti tanya time aku melepasi Apartment Baiduri.

Abang Moto Hensem la Jugak : Assalamualaikum, Adik jalan dari Seksyen 2 tadi nak balik rumah?
Aku : *Angguk* Kenapa?
Abang Moto Hensem la Jugak : Tak jauh ke? Abang tengok dari Seksyen 2 tadi adik tak sampai sampai lagi. Kenapa takde bas ke?
Aku : Rumah saya kat belakang tu je. *Jari tunjuk kat bukit belakang UiTM tu* Baik saya jalan kaki. Kalau naik teksi pun belum tentu diorang nak hantar saya sebab kalau naik kereta dekat sangat. Lagipun saya yang nak jalan. Tahan teksi pun rugi duit je.
- aku pernah kot kena reject dengan driver teksi suruh hantar balik dia taknak sebab tak berbaloi dekat sangat lima minit je -
Abang Moto Hensem la Jugak : Ohh. Rajinnya sebab abang nampak dari Seksyen 2 lagi. Takpelah. Abang pegi dulu. *thumbs up*
Aku : Ohh terima kasih

Dalam hati aku ingat dia nak tumpangkan. Aku pulak siap sedia nak reject sebab aku memang tak naik moto dengan lelaki dan abang tu stranger. Mak dah cakap banyak kali jangan layan orang tak kenal. Aku layan tadi, kira dah dosa kat mak aku dah tu. Derhaka derhaka.

Lepas tu aku call mak aku. Mak aku bebel sebab aku balik jalan. Siap marah marah sebab aku layan abang tu. Habis tuuuuuuu mak, Noremon ada hal. Naim pi keluaq dengan kawan kawan dia. Aku pulak lupa yang Noremon ada hal so aku mintak kawan aku tumpangkan sampai McD Seksyen 3 ja. Ingat Naim free, call Naim dia dah keluar rumah pulak.

Aku semput sikit tadi time call mak aku tu. Tu yang terimbas kembali kisah kejuaraan tu. Sekarang dah tak fit okay. Tapi tadi jalan sejam tu kira power la tu. Walaupun habis peluh ketiak aku.

p/s. Time ni la aku perlukan seorang yang boleh digelarkan The Other Half. Bukan nak suruh jadi driver, kalau dia takde transport pun, aku boleh call, buat teman. Macam tadi, jalan sorang sorang, aku dah feeling macam baru putus cinta kot. Pegang phone taktau nak mesej sapa. Nak call mintak tolong sapa. Last last jalan separa menari girang. And yes, aku ada goyangkan beg aku ke kiri dan ke kanan sambil menyanyi "Jadikan Aku yang Kedua".

ten things I love about

2011-06-19T00:41:00.000+08:00

Ayah saya.

Yang Teramat Mulia Encik Ahmad b. Abdullah.

He's the King of My Life.

eh, bukan beliau. beliau adalah bakal menantu tak jadi keluarga saya.

inilah beliau. I know I know. Gambar ni je yang still dalam folder Pictures. Yang lain hilang dek kena format laptop! *alasannn!* gambar beliau last day kat Mahkamah.

ok lets start!

1. He's truly workaholics. To the point of "Ayah, cuti ayah dua bulan tu ayah tak guna ke?".

2. He rarely say anything to our face but once we left home, he calls once in a while. Yesterday, he called me three times just to tell almost the same thing. RINDU!

3. He may say that he refused to do anything that we asked from him, but eventually he does exactly what we asked. All those nags are only the icing on the top. Bitter but if he doesn't, who will?

4. Bagi duit belanja kat aku tiap tiap bulan. Lepas ni kena sedar diri yang aku ni dah banyak bermanja dengan keluarga.

5. He answers every questions I asked. Without fail.

6. When I was a very cute, adorable and angelic little girl *ape? jeles?*, whenever Mak keje shift malam, I would sleep besides him. And he used to pat my shoulder until I was in the dreamland. And when Mak ada, I would sleep besides Mak and that would make him have to go and sleep on the other bed. *my bed*

7. He never failed to pick me up at school. Unless he went somewhere la. Tapi seingat aku memang tiap tiap hari beliau amek. On time lagi.

8. He cooks the best ayam goreng and maggi ever.

9. He is so rajin sampaikan kawan kawan aku puji cakap muka beliau macam Chinese, lepas tu baik, lepas tu rajin. Once, when the little titi at my PLKN camp was broken, beliau yang datang hujung minggu melawat aku, ajak few of the boys to help him repair balik titi tu. after that, titi tu was repaired and boleh guna siap kukuh lagi. :p dah la beliau ngan Mak aku datang tiap tiap minggu melawat! Whoever pernah pegi camp Tasik Meranti Wang Kelian tu tau la hazab nak pi kat kem yang memang tengah tengah lembah hutan gunung tu. And he was there every visiting weeks despite dengan kereta proton saga lama beliau tu.

10. Because he is MY FATHER.

2011-06-10T18:32:00.000+08:00

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

Older than I should have.

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Trying so hard but keeps failing.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

True.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Knowing myself, I would say I might will, but depends. People change though.

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

Discrimination and Racism.

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Comedian?

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Kinda in between those two.

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

Quit school and travelling.

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

23 degrees?

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

I'd prefer the latter. No matter how did you get to the last point, how many mistakes you've done as long as you DID get to the last point, within the given time.

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

Excuse myself and leave a note, written " Just so you know, those words reflect more on you".

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Carpe Diem!

Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Like what Wentworth Miller went through in Prison Break? Well, depends on the crime.

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

I am not sure myself.

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

The way I solve things. I tend to use the most challenging way ever.

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

Not everyone loves pizza, cheese and James Lafferty. So, you're on your own, really.

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?

Get an interesting job, not related with interior design.

What’s holding you back?

Money-wise?

Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

Yes.

If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

To Belgium or Germany. No reasons. I just love the names Belgian and German.

Do you push the elevator button more than once?

Yes. :p

Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

I thought so. Machines are created by humans. And how many times human needs to be told about how to do things right?

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

The latter. I need not to know all the things.

Why are you, you?

I am because this is what i chose to be. Simply said.

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

You need to ask my friends about that.

Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

Both.

What are you most grateful for?

My family and everything I've encounter and lived for.

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

The latter. Old memories can be painful. But that's how you learn stuffs.

Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

Sometimes, it need not to be challenged. It can be in front of your eyes all this while.

Has your greatest fear ever come true?

Currently I cannot comprehend this on purpose.

Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?

Yes and at times, it still does. Cause it's still affecting the present.

What is your happiest childhood memory?

Eating my favorite candy while sewing my Barbie-doll apparel.

What makes it so special?

I don't have to think what I need to right now.

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

Knowing I can reach the sky, if I put my mind to it.

If not now, then when?

Tomorrow?

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

Time? Tik Tok!

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

Yes. It was like ages ago.

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

It is because the believers want wars instead of love. Ego, man. E-G-O!

Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

Refer the challenged truth question.

If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

If I enjoy what I'm doing, I would not. Let the money grows like the leaves on trees.

Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

Like I said, I won't mind if I do love the job.

Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

I've felt the dejavu.

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

I don't recall.

If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

Family.

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

I happy being the extremely-not-attractive all this while, so what should I change that?

What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

Alive, you repeat the routine and never ever change it. Truly living, you explore what God have created for you in every way, every time possible.

When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

If you ask me, NOW.

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

We've been fed that doing things the right way is close to perfect. and everyone love perfection. Need to say more?

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Outspoken. Be more outspoken.

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

Last night.

What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

Reading. I bought books and finished them by two days.

In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

I'll grow old with amnesia.

Do I Really Need To?

2011-06-02T18:40:00.000+08:00

As part of the community, yes I do.

As Liyanna Ahmad, nehh~ I'd passed. Makan cendol lagi best.

Aku datang dari background where the environment pada aku sangat balance. Aku bebas tetapi parents aku tak pernah lepas tangan. Aku masih banyak kekurangan, khilaf walaupun the fact yang aku graduate high school *wahh, graduate katanya* dari sekolah menengah agama yang strict dan hanya dihadiri student perempuan sahaja. So far, aku masih berpuas hati dengan apa saja keputusan yang aku dah buat sepanjang aku hidup.

AdindaEvans

Aku perasan perkara ni bila naik nama #adindaevans top trending kat twitter. So I just googled about her, then noticed yang blogger pun tengah hangat discussed pasal this girl. My say in this? Aku sangat sangat kesian. She might be 15 this year, or 14, but all I care is the fact yang dia baru nak menjengah alam remaja. Baru nak kenal dunia. Kalau betul apa saja akuan dia, memang aku simpati.

Aku hanya mahu menganggap dan masih mahu menganggap yang apa saja akuan dia tu semata mata untuk mendapatkan attention. Mana tau bila dia bukak Nuffnang dia macam frust takde dapat hasil so in order to gain what she felt she deserved, she confessed everything.

Yes, pada aku Malaysia sekarang takde la yang suci sangat. We have to admit even NoraElena pun takde dara weh, sebab dia kena raped. Nowadays memang susahhhhh sangat nak prevent pengaruh Maria Ozawa dan Vicky Vette dari berleluasa. Aku lahir tahun 1990. Waktu membesar saja, telinga aku dah terbiasa mendengar budak budak mencarut. Umur lima tahun dah fluent enough nak sebut puki, butuh bagai. Aku pernah hampir terjebak, tapi seperti yang aku cakap, aku bebas, tapi keluarga aku tak pernah lepas tangan. Hasil cop body glove merah di pipi dan ditinggalkan sorang sorang dalam bilik takde lampu *aku takut gelap. I am very afraid of total darkness*, aku terus tak biasakan lidah aku dengan those words. Tapi takdela aku menegur orang lain yg lancang saja menyebut semua tu.

Dia lahir dalam dunia dimana everything is one click away. Everything is exposed. Aku ada kawan yang parents dah sehabis baik mendidik, membesarkan dan menjaga, tapi in the end she ended up broken jugak. So nak salahkan siapa?

We can judge but the way I look at it, I don't feel we have the right to bashed her. In fact, are we holy enough nak hentam dia? Jangan act holier-than-thou with anyone sekali pun. Please jangan. Nanti backfired, God forbids.

Aku went through balik blog post dia atas rasa curiousity, tetapi dia dah delete all those controversial posts dia. Aku rasa dia pun tengah malu sekarang. Atau stressed. Atau mungkin tengah numb, takde perasaan dan tak pedulik pun sebenarnya. Tapi benda benda ni la yang akan take toll on her later. Kalau dia kat Korea mau dah terjun bangunan. Mintak simpangla.

Apa salah si adindaevans ni? Salah dia, dia confess yang she is not virgin anymore. Dan kita yang mendengar tanpa usul periksa terus menerus meletakkan hukuman. At least it is one thing dia tak hipokrit pasal life dia. Kita? Tinggal solat, ponteng puasa, minum arak, and tons more, tak rasa bersalah? Tak rasa berdosa?

Aku tujukan entry ni untuk yang menghentam dia. Bagi yang memberi nasihat, InsyaAllah selagi Allah sayang budak tu, dia akan dengar. Aku pun tak sempurna mana.

p/s. Aku pakai tudung je, belum lagi berserban. So, tak layak lagi masuk kategori serbanistas kan?

and right now?

2011-05-30T20:57:00.000+08:00

I'm so relieved. Talked to him and vice-versa. well talking as in chatting. bila cakap ni benda boleh jadi serius. I prefer everything jadi smooth je sebab I expect solutions and clarifications. nothing more complicated stuff.

It did not go as you guys might expected. Tapi for me it was enough. :)

Out of all things I love, I really appreciate anything that is honest.
and both of us were being honest. Alhamdulillah.

Next chapter, begins.

Arkitek Aliran Cipta Sdn Bhd

2011-05-26T15:56:00.000+08:00

Hi peeps.

Okay, hari ni tak mau meracau dah. Kali ni aku nak bercakap pasal pengalaman berpraktikal aku selama empat bulan di Arkitek AliranCipta Sdn. Bhd. kat Seksyen 13, Shah Alam. Situated betul betul kat depan main entrance Stadium Shah Alam, berdekatan dengan area Laman Seri dan Kelab Golf Diraja (ke?).

This is the big family. Tapi kalau tengok sekarang dah minus few ones yang dah berpindah ke office baru atas sebab masing masing. But still, this is THE FAMILY. :) oh by the way, few ones yang takde kat sini time ni tak join company ni lagi.

Throughout the four months, I really enjoyed everything. Sekarang dah buat part-time, so lepas ni time nak berhenti, maybe at the end of July, akan rasa sangat weird sebab I got used to coming to office already. Buat drawings, stay ups, makan makan, pegi site, pegi meeting, pegi tengok wayang, pegi jalan jalan, semuanya dengan these guys.

honestly. I'll miss them after this. :)

the way I look at things, these days.

2011-05-20T00:50:00.000+08:00

I've been looking like an old lady with extra muffin tops these days. Been thinking and planning on few things.

1. I've decided. I will let go of my hope to have him. Something from the past reminds me of this "happily ever after" thingy. Last time I checked, I was in dreamland. I miss my reality. as much as I miss him. And the fact that I don't know what he feels about me, I don't want to be left hanging. Am turning twenty-one, I've realized I have a long way ahead of me. He can still be my one. Ha can still be not.

2. Acid Splasher(s). I've been updating sarcastic joke status on my Facebook wall about the ever-'handsome' Acidman. I wonder whether he(they) add me yet or not? My view on this, they need a job, seriously, Acidman needs to be behind desk or at least be on Akademi Fantasia for all I care.

3. I need to lose some weight. Seriously. I couldn't fit in most of my clothes and I couldn't afford to buy new ones.

4. I miss Perlis. Have been postponing my plan to go back. Perlis have always give peace to my mind. And I need some of that peace.

5. I noticed something when I stand in front of the mirror. My hair is now have become at its longest length than before. Should I cut it? This is a habit of mine, to clear things up in my mind, I opt to cut my hair. Its like a refreshing act *refreshing?* just to make myself konon konon rejuvenate. And I think I need to do something with my front teeth. Someday I think. Whenever I look on myself, there's a flashback from past, that I've still carried it all this while. There's this guy from my studio who kept asking me to match him with my gorgeous *she is!* roommate. And after he found out that I had another beautiful roommate he went straight to me and joked "Kenapa kau sorang je yang tak cantik? Kawan kawan kau semua cantik cantik,". I don't think he really mean it when he said it. He was rather not thinking clearly at that time, I supposed. But the words hit me real bad.

I've been hearing those kind of words from few persons before. And they hit me like REAL BAD. And after watching myself in front of the mirror last night, I was like, I don't have to be pretty like men want me to. I just have to be me. Yes, I was born not pretty enough. But I'll find somebody who thinks I'm the world. My mum does. My dad does. My brothers, urmm..sometimes they do sometimes they don't. As much as I want to be a swan, I am contented enough to stay as the ugly duckling. *readers, if you never heard of this, go and you tube it. CELA by BONECA*

Yes, aku tak cantik, tapi, handsome sangat ke kau, huh?

6. My short term goal - I want to graduate as a Bachelor (Hons) in Interior Architecture with my batch mates insyaAllah. And further my studies outside Malaysia, Allah's willing, Amin.

7. My long term goal - Considered success before forty with husband and kids. Have a house with my name on it as well as a car. To be able to pay for Mak, Ayah and Akbar's second Hajj insyaAllah. To be able to leave my foot prints in Italy and Tokyo and become the guest of Baitullah.

more to come.

2011-05-18T15:35:00.000+08:00

menunggu IV

2011-05-16T15:00:00.000+08:00

Guruh berdentum kuat. awan makin galak memuntahkan airmatanya. Tempias air hujan membasahi bajunya. Separuh kuyup. Terketar-ketar Liyana menahan kesejukan. Tangannya pantas mencari telefon bimbit di dalam beg tangan, mahu menghubungi Insyirah.

"Hi awak.."

Liyana mengalihkan pandangannya kepada pemilik suara itu. Tercegat bersebelahan seorang lelaki asing yang tidak dikenalinya. Lirikan mata lelaki itu membuatnya tidak senang. Sudahlah badannya separuh kuyup, lekuk badan mudah dilihat, lelaki itu pula berduaan dengannya. Biarpun perhentian itu terbuka, hujan membataskan pergerakkannya untuk menjarakkan diri. Lelaki itu semakin mendekatinya.

Pin!

Bunyi hon dari Honda Civic itu mengejutkan lelaki itu. Kereta Firdaus! Cepat Liyana berlari memasuki ke dalam perut kereta, tanpa berfikir panjang.

"Did he do something?" tanya Firdaus.

Lelaki tadi sudah meredah hujan meninggalkan perhentian itu. Liyana hanya menggelengkan kepala, sambil menunduk memandang ke bawah. Penghawa dingin kereta mula menyengat dirinya yang kebasahan. Timbul rasa yang dia sedang menyusahkan Firdaus.

" Wear this, awak mesti sejuk," Firdaus menghulurkan jaket di belakang tempat duduknya kepada Liyana. Suhu penghawa dingin dinaikkan sedikit, biar selesa. Liyana hanya membatu diam seribu bahasa. Firdaus meneruskan perjalanan.

" Sorry..." ujar Liyana perlahan. Firdaus hanya tersenyum kecil.
" What for? Don't be. Kalau I tak ada tadi, macam mana? If I knew you balik tak ada transport tadi, awal lagi I paksa you balik dengan I," balas Firdaus. Matanya melirik kepada gadis idaman di sebelah. Biarpun hampir setiap hari bertemu, matanya tidak puas menjamah wajah gadis itu.

" Swift saya tak boleh start tadi," Liyana bersuara kembali.

" So esok macam mana?"
" Esok?"
" Esok kan hari Jumaat, working days lagi. Pergi kerja macam mana?" tanya Firdaus.
" My housemate.."

" Okay, awak pergi dengan saya. I'll pick you up around 8.00. Kita breakfast then we'll go straight to work," celah Firdaus sebelum sempat Liyana menghabiskan katanya.

" When did I say yes?" bantah Liyana. Lebih senang aku menyusahkan Insyirah dari menyusahkan Firdaus.

bersambung.

p/s. sorry. been busy these days.

kalaulah kau sedar wahai abang

2011-05-09T11:05:00.000+08:00

aku pun manusia jugak.
ada hati perasaan.

kau lebihkan kawan kawan kau tu lantak kau la. kau malu nak jalan berdua dengan aku sebab aku tak hot macam yang park gyuri kau tu lantak kau la. kau marah marah aku tak kira depan orang ke tak tu lantak kau la.

sebab apa aku cakap lantak kau.

sejak dulu lagi, no matter how amazed I am of you, I could never trust you that much. kau suruh aku buat apa aku buat. kau suruh tutup mulut aku tutup. tapi bila pasal aku kau bukak cerita. ok. fine, kau kan abang.

sebab bila kau buat perangai ni, aku tak pernah melawan jangan ingat hati aku diam tak cakap apa apa.

the way I see it, Allah forbids, kalau aku merempat nanti, nak jejak kaki masuk kawasan rumah kau pun belum tentu kau izin. nak minum milo kau beli pun kau jerkah aku macam aku ni hina sangat minum.

dah la. aku memang malas nak cakap dengan kau. nak komunikasi dengan kau. aku kalau tak mengenangkan hal keluarga ayah, aku rasa dah lama tak cakap dengan kau. dan kau pun mungkin tak mengaku aku adik. there are countless times where I held back my tears because of you. this morning I was hurt enough.

aku ni memang tak layak kan jadi adik kau. share darah dengan kau. kau kan hebat, handsome terbaik. aku ni hina.

thanks for your concern all this while. nanti aku dah kerja, aku bayar balik SEMUA yang aku hutang kat kau. SEMUA.

adik kau yang kau harap cun enough macam ryoko hirosue kau tu.

exhaustion

2011-05-04T01:00:00.000+08:00

well, working on weekends and especially on holidays was not a happy thing. even the prospect of getting super tired and exhausted can be predicted from the very beginning, as soon as the words " weekend ni datang na? client nak siap hari Isnin *which was a public holiday for Hari Buruh, ya, sangat ironi, tell me about it* " spoken by Rosidi, one of brilliant designers in the office.

Sepet, Mami and I exchanged our eyes. there goes our plan. there goes the dates they had been planning *kesian beau Sepet and Mami* and there goes everything.

I've been missing home, perlis. kalau tak weekend lepas ni aku plan nak balik perlis.
aiyah~

working is fun. but it can be tiresome. alhamdulillah malam aku stay sampai pagi tu, sepanjang malam aku okay. except for rosidi and sepet. they were both quite lost towards the end.
these are going to become worthy, especially for both of you, sidi and pet. I believe, one day soon.

coming up, pre viva and viva.
wish me lucks.

and one last thing.
hey you. I miss you. I do.

korean dinner.

2011-04-29T00:43:00.000+08:00

I had a great night, tonight. When Kak Kamariah invited me to join the dinner, with mentioning that a Korean girl will be joining us too, without any hesitation I just replied YES!

haha. Yes, I'm Anything-Korean-Japan Addict.

We had the dinner at a Korean dish cafe named Little Street Cafe, exactly in front of Taylor's in Subang. When I entered the cafe, the background music was "bonamana by super junior" and when I got upstairs, it was "what should I do by seungri of my fave band, big bang". after that I noticed they *the waiters* were playing all big bang's songs! hahaa. the waiter that taught me how to eat the korean-shushi-I-forgot-the-name-of-it was actually a very cute guy. haha. our eyes met some times but I was too focus on filling the food into my tummy. haha.

We were introduced to Yoo Jin, from Seoul who is now living in Singapore but she'll be flying back home to Seoul in mid-May later. She's 24 and a food and nutrition graduate. finally I get to know a Korean! yay! I can now cross the list of getting new international friends, Korean and Iran. :p

here's Yoo Jin and me:)

what's really nice at this cafe was, we can put notes n the wall, any quote as you wish,

and we did put ours too

the top was my writings, the middle was yoo jin's which meant, "cheer up malaysia!"

and the bottom was naim's

the diners :)

I really had fun :)

p/s. I'm so going back to this place.

jangan tinggalkan minda aku

2011-04-28T15:35:00.000+08:00

We can make plans
I'll give all I can
You were my man
On the gold coast sand

You can go to New Orleans
Take the river front-line
But don't leave my mind

You can go each day takes you
Some place I can't find
But don't leave my mind

We can break plans
I'll keep all I can
You'll be my friend
And start over again

And you can go to New York City
Get a place on the east side
But don;t leave my mind

And you can go where no one knows you
Where the winter is kind
But don't leave my mind

Ohhh

And you can go I can't find you
There's no space, there's no time
But don't leave my mind
Don't leave my mind
Don't leave my mind

memories

2011-04-28T03:03:00.000+08:00

just four days ago, it should have been 3 years already. if we are still, but we're not. thanks for the memories, for I will cherish it till as long as I can breathe. thanks for the love. thanks for the companion. thanks for all those late calls, the good nights, the morning alarms, the comfort you gave me.

you might not be the one for me, but the friendship still remains the same.
its nice to know you're happy now with her and insyaAllah, I will one day feel the same.

24th April 2008. friday. 10pm.

this 'freedom' can be lonely, but alhamdulillah I am not.
as confident as I am right now
I daresay to inform that I'm happy and will always be.
with or without a 'he' in my life, cuz I know I'm worthy enough for this beautiful life.

p/s. the mini novel is on hold cuz I tried to finish the first chapter in one go.

and why do I fell in love

2011-04-25T03:12:00.000+08:00

at the verge of letting him go,
he comes back.

and puts smiles on my face,
just like that.

and how am I going to do,
what am I going to say?

I accidentally met him again
at one of our friend's house.

I didn't know he was going to be there,
but there he was, picking me up with the other friends
he saw how clumsy I was,
how comot I was
and

the important thing

we met.

I wanna say a lot of things to him
but my mouth was shut,
until today.

and here I am
dangling my heart in the air
letting it be
for whom it might be stolen to
I just wish its him

john mayer

2011-04-24T16:39:00.000+08:00

favourite song ever

2011-04-22T20:59:00.001+08:00

Let me pretend that you're still by my side

Let me say things that I know you'll never hear

Let me feel that I still have some pride

Then let me just wipe the escaped tears

Let me say your name once more aloud

For your mocking ghost around me to hear

Let me laugh at my illusions and scream out

Here's a fool left with no heart nor a future

Chorus:

Just let me Let me alone in my reality

And let me Let me chase your shadow in my dream

Keep on dying in your life Reminiscing all your lies Let me Just let me be

Let me treasure those moments shared together

Please don't let me stain my memories with tears

If you must just fade away with the summer

Let there be no more spring in my coming year

(Repeat chorus)

Bridge:

If only one day you'll just come to me

Say straight to my face how much you hate me

So that I can stop thinking of you

And all that we've been through

So let me be Just let me be

Just let me

Let me fly up with my broken wings

And let me

Let me bleed until I finally heal

Keep on trying to survive

Within all this love inside

Let me Just let me be

Just let me

Kill you in my mind

Don't you be

No more in my eyes

Just let me

Kill you in my mind

Don't you be Don't you be No more

its been long.

2011-04-20T12:52:00.000+08:00

Where were you last night?
went out with office mates for some durian sessions. got home at ten.

What is today’s date?
20th of April.

Who was the last person to call you baby/babe?
Mona and Fatin. the only two persons yang panggil aku camtu.

When you’re at the grocery store do you use the self checkout?
err..pokemon apekah self-checkout tu?

What is your relationship status?
I'm not taken yet.

Has anyone ever sang to you?
No. Even the birthday songs. No.

If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
Depends. I can sometimes be highly confidence and sometimes inferior takes all of me.

Who do you text the most?:
At the moment? No one.

What is your favorite color?
Red, Green Bluish or Blue Greenish, Black and any shades of purple.

What color are your eyes?
Dark brown.

How tall are you?:
Not higher than you I guess.

Do you like your parents?
Who doesnt?

Do you secretly like someone?:
How should I answer this one..

Why did your last relationship end?
Let the past remains where it belongs.

Where is the furthest place you’ve traveled?
North Thailand.

Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep?
For now, to fill my stomach and go straight to bed. Oh wait, I'm at the office now. No can't do babeh!

Do you look more like your mom or your dad?
I honestly am not sure of myself. I used to think I was adopted. -____-''

How long does it take you to shower?
As long my fingers don't shriveled.

What did you do on New Years Eve?
1990 until 2008, home. 2009-2010 uitm perak campus. 2011, kak elisha's dinner party.

Can you speak any other language than English?
Malay, a little bit Arabic and insyaAllah, I'm going to master Japanese.

What is the last letter of your middle name?
R.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
Six (6) hours.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?:
Every time after the door is closed and locked.

Are you scared of flying?
I'm scared of height. So, flying is the last option. No matter how handsome the pramugara or the pilot is.

credits
putriNA

menunggu III

2011-04-15T01:53:00.000+08:00

Firdaus tidak menghiraukan panggilan Liyana. Dia mahu melembutkan hati Liyana yang seakan keras terhadapnya itu. Kaki dihayun pantas ke ruang lif. Mahu cepat berjumpa Maha Pencipta sebelum waktu rehat tamat.

Jarum jam melewati angka lapan. Suasana ruangan pejabat itu sepi tiada bunyi, hanya tinggal Liyana seorang di situ menyudahkan saki-baki kerjanya. Seringkali dia bersendirian di pejabat, menghabiskan masanya dengan kerja. Deringan telefon yang tiba-tiba memecahkan kebisuan ruang itu. Kedengaran bait-bait irama "Right Here Waiting" telefon bimbitnya. Tertera nama "Insyirah" di skrin.

" Hello?"

" Assalamualaikum, Yana," jawab Insyirah, sayup.

" Walaikumussalam, what's up Syirah?"

" Eh, aku baru perasan yang aku tak bawak kunci rumah. Tertinggal masa aku tukar handbag tadi. Kau kat mana tu? Are you going to be home soon?"

" In that case, aku gerak dalam lima minit lagi. Lets hope there's no traffic,"

Butang merah ditekan. Setibanya Liyana di ruang parkir, kedengaran guruh berdetum kuat. Oh man! Its raining, leceh betul! Getusnya. Cepat-cepat dia menghidupkan enjin kereta. Meredah hujan dan lalu lintas amat menyesakkan minda pada Liyana. Itulah antara perkara yang membuatkan dia merindui kampung halaman di Perlis.

Lima minit berlalu, enjin Suzuki Swift kesayangannya masih lagi tidak boleh dihidupkan. Mahu tak mahu dia perlu segera pulang. Liyana mengeluh kecil. Mungkin ada masalah enjin, atau bateri, atau ah! Kalau dia tahu akan masalah itu, dia masih tidak mampu berbuat apa-apa. Mahu dipanggil mekanik, nanti Insyirah tertunggu. Liyana pantas berjalan ke ruangan menunggu bas di luar kawasan bangunan, meredah rintik hujan yang mula turun. Mungkin esok pagi dia akan menyelesaikan masalah keretanya itu.

bersambung.....

he is so

2011-04-13T13:44:00.000+08:00

freaking adorable.
architect + interior architect = match made in heaven. hahaha!

menunggu II

2011-04-10T03:05:00.000+08:00

Lamunannya melayang. Terbang membawa kenangannya pergi. Suara garau itu memecahkan kesunyiannya. Apabila dia berpaling, senyuman pemilik suara itu terukir, seolahkan dihadiahkan hanya untuk dirinya.

" Dah lama ke Firdaus berdiri kat situ?" soal Liyana, berlagak tenang.

Firdaus selalu begitu, memberi kejutan di saat dia mahu bersendirian. Jejaka ini tidak pernah putus asa mengetuk pintu hatinya. Selama dia menolak, selama itu dia mencuba.

" Alah, kalau berdiri sejam pun, Yana tak perasankan?" balas Firdaus.

Dipandangnya Liyana dalam-dalam. Hatinya terusik sejak kehadiran Liyana di pejabat itu. Gadis itu mencuri perhatiannya yang selama ini tidak pernah dilemparkan kepada mana-mana gadis. Sejak bertentang mata, hatinya mengatakan inilah yang dicarinya. Gadis di hadapannya itu tidaklah secantik mana. Kulitnya bersawo matang, tidak sepertinya yang cerah bak keturunan Cina. Bertudung litup, bibir mungil dan mata yang redup.

" Yana dah makan?" Firdaus cuba memancing bicara.
Liyana menggeleng. " Belum, tak lapar pun,".
Matanya kembali menatap skrin komputer, cuba mengabaikan Firdaus.

Firdaus meletakkan bungkusan nasi di atas meja. " Eh, apa ni?"

" Sempat lagi awak nak makan. Masih dalam waktu lunch. Makanlah, jangan biar perut awak tu kosong. Awak kan ada gastrik. Lauk yang saya ambil tu, yang selalu awak makan," ujar Firdaus. Dia cepat berlalu meninggalkan Liyana, turun ke surau di tingkat bawah. Dibiarkan Liyana terpinga=pinga di mejanya.

" Firdaus!"

bersambung.....

menunggu.

2011-04-08T23:41:00.000+08:00

babak satu. bab 1.

"Amir janji, Amir akan setia bersama Yana,".

Kata-kata itu bermain di mindanya bagai cakera rosak. Enam tahun berlalu tanpa disangka. Ah, bagai semalam saja Amir melafazkan kata-kata itu kepadanya. Enam tahun juga, dia masih menunggu, menyimpan ruang hatinya buat jejaka itu. Sedangkan jejaka itu hanyut dibawa kebahagiaan. Tetapi bukan dengan dirinya. Biarlah dikatakan bodoh. Hakikatnya hatinya hanya untuk Amir. Tak sanggup membenarkan lelaki lain menjengah ruang hatinya.

"Fikir apa tu? Dah pandai termenung sekarang ye?"

bersambung......

should I?

2011-04-07T02:51:00.000+08:00

I've been wanting to write a story. I mean a mini-novel. Back when I was 15, I wrote, yes, using pen not pencil, a mini novel which had been passed around from friends to friends in my class and the other classes. Some seniors read it too, I heard. well, most of them liked it very much, encouraging me to send the mini-novel to publishing company so it can be materialized, well, sort of. I wrote the story in a book, kalau term meluas secara bahasa pasarnya setebal buku hardcover yang mudah didapati di pasaran. I ended the story before the five last pages of the book.

the next of that was back when I was 17. aku memang suka cari pasal menulis waktu nak ambil exam yang penting! wrote in a whole note pad kertas kajang tu sampai terkoyak. and cerita tu aku cepatkan plot sebab nak exam. kawan kawan nak buat bahan bacaan masa gap exam, itu yang dicepatkan. haha.

I wanted to write again.
should I?

vote for them

2011-04-04T20:50:00.000+08:00

THE POCKETROCKETEERS.

they're all my seniors.
and they rock it!
vote for them!

go TK!
go danial!

:)

you're definitely

2011-04-04T02:46:00.000+08:00

worth waiting for.

I wish this very hope, comes true.
and the way that you end today, put smiles on my face.
thank you
mr.you-know-who-you-are-I-do-hope.

and if you meant it the other way
its okay.
its been long since I smile for something sweet from somebody I actually have feelings with.
thank you once again
and do come back tomorrows' nights.

and I do hope Mukhlis gets me the fact
the highest level for me and him
in terms of relationship will be JUST FRIEND and nothing more.
haih~
I thought time would change him
but it did not.

you should definitely watch this!

2011-04-02T13:37:00.000+08:00

the last time I saw him

sebelum pergi PLKN

go aiman!

you're one of a kind

once again

thanks for asking me to wear hijab some years ago

when you came to my house for the text books

yeah I know. its lame.

2011-03-29T21:53:00.000+08:00

kadang kadang kesunyian ini boleh membunuh.
'membunuh' perasaan.

banyak cerita yang aku tak nukilkan disini. kegembiraan di singapura. of course universal studios experience was awesome, but the one that topped the memories was hanging out with kak girl and kak farah and went out for midnight movie ; the adjustment bureau.

rasa rindu yang dilepaskan pada perak. especially uitm perak. plus makan durian tepi highway ipoh-lumut. and the fact I just realised how I'm missing being with someone and I wish I had one while being in those moments.

dan.
bila aku approved friend request dari mr. hazlan dan mukhlis, aku sedaya mungkin cuba ignore the chat buttons cause I don't want to go back. I want to move forward.

saat menulis ni Astro kena blocked. entah kenapa aku malas nak buat apa apa. sebab kalau aku call customer service pun aku yg end up getting annoyed. abang abang tak ada di rumah. so sorang sorang la. tu yang feeling lebih ni.

aku tinggalkan beberapa tatapan.

chaen dan mantobah

the mates

lunch break bersama

haha. semakin berisi aku ni

habis kami bantai

memories

terima kasih pakcik kerana melayan kami yang keanakan!

dan

dan juga

dari boston.

2011-03-29T21:28:00.000+08:00

almost lover

2011-03-24T18:15:00.000+08:00

dedicated to someone.
I know you're happy now.

bila setiap malam ditemani kesunyian
maka lagu lagu jiwang hadir mengubat rasa.
cewah!

jatuh cinta lagi.

2011-03-16T15:38:00.000+08:00

dgn matluthfi.

10 things, I hate about.

2011-03-11T14:11:00.000+08:00

you.

I hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you’re always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you’re not around,
and the fact that you didn’t call.
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,
not even close…
not even a little bit…
not even at all.

crushes,

2011-03-05T12:31:00.000+08:00

I got exposed to dating since sekolah rendah. terlampau banyak bergaul dengan friends yang at least 3years older than me buat aku ter-exposed awal. banyak faktor lagi tapi aku bukan nak karang memoir di sini.

so, of course la aku start admire boys since darjah enam aku rasa. yang serius la. yang kalau ajak couple aku rasa on the spot terus say yes!

darjah enam.
1. aizzat.
2. najmi zharif.
3. ikhsan.

time ni tiga ni memang top three! haha. tengok, sekolah rendah lagi dah gatal! isk isk isk. jangan nak contohi ye adik adik di luar sana. kenapa tak malu untuk reveal mereka ni? sebab bila dah besar takda perasaan langsung! hati kering ja bila mengadap mereka ni. haha. *abeh tu yang kau confess suka kat ikhsan tu apa, puteri?*

okay bila dah masuk sekolah menengah tu, crush bertambah. haha. start form two. sebab form one belemoih lagi. tudung pun herot lagi. time tu dalam mind pikir nak menjuarai merentas desa je. *dan aku menang, ayayayaya!*

form two onwards,chronologically! get ready! mungkin anda on the list!

1. daniel
kenal dia ni thru chatting. a malay-chinese-arabic mixed. ayah melayu arab. mak cina isk isk. and memang sampai sekarang stay friends. :) hanya dia kawan chatting yang kekal in touch.

2. firdaus
kawan kawan rapat sekolah menengah semuanya dah tahu pasal daus. dan segala krisis yang berlaku. I was madly in love with him up until form four. cuma. aku je yang suka. dia tak. keluar minum dengan dia banyak kali jugakla. but nothing happen. faktor tidak menjadi : I had issues back then and masih lagi belemoih! haha. sekarang he is 27, and happy with belle, my schoolmate. :)

3. fendy
haha. jiran rumah. sepanjang form two hingga form four aku tak pandang orang lain melainkan daus. so waktu form five tu dah move-on dengan hidup, aku start usha fendy ni. tiap tiap petang dia mesti lalu depan rumah sebab balik keja. so tiap tiap petang aku rajin pegi siram pokok tanpa disuruh. hahaha. *dasar pemalas betul!* tapi ngan fendy ni tak pernah tegur pun padahal aku kenal dia sejak darjah lima lagi, main galah panjang siap. pelikkan tak pernah tegur? sekarang dah bertunang dah pun. camne tahu? stalker berjaya memang hebat begini. hahaha. takdela. gambar kat friendster dah menjelaskan segalanya. hahaha.

4. mukhlis a.k.a iz
he was a bad boy from the beginning. troubled person, indeed he was. kenal dia thru izzat. back then, something about him triggered my feelings. been with him for 3months only. itu pun on and off. sekarang? dah lost contact. we actually broke up sebab he left me to go back to kl without me knowing. right after last paper SPM pulak tu. I know he is in klang, somewhere doing something. memang langsung dah lost contact.

5. abang library
abang ni selalu pergi library. since dia pakai uniform sekolah kaler lain, so automatik boleh detect sekolah mana dia ni. sekolah aku perempuan je n kitorg pakai tudung labuh, warna biru langit sama macam kain baju tu. klu form six tudung labuh putih kain ungu. kalau pengawas blue black la. lain sekolah lain kalernya. hahaha. cuma uniform abang ni buat aku confuse whether he is a derma student or smk perlis' student. and dia form six time tu. upper six. n I was in form five. camne tahu? sebab waktu aku masuk form six sekejap dulu, dah tak pernah nampak dia kat library. oh abang, bila lagi mahu ketemu? haha

6. izzat
my bestfriend! he knows it. we're both knew bout it. we both talked about it. we both had solved the issue. and we're both stay bestfriend until this day :) and we are both happier than before. he now is in uitm arau, pursuing geomatic science, in relationship with his batchmate, fiza. :)

7. khairul najmi.
aamir and irsyad, i know you're both tengah gelak or senyum. so diam! hahahahahahha. dulu salah satu sanggup berjalan dari sekolah tunggu ayah datang amik kat library sebab nak tengok nami ni la. kalau hari bertuah, dia lambai waktu ayah aku sampai. ayah aku siap tanya lagi "boyfriend hang ka?" hahahaha. aku kenal nami since sekolah rendah sebelum dia pindah sekejap. then waktu dia pindah balik ke perlis I was like wow! hahaha. he doesn't know this, so i wish any dermarian who read this tak bagitahu dia. bukan apa, bila ingat balik *sekarang pun* aku gelak sorang sorang! sekarang kalau selisih kat the store kangar, ber 'oit!' je tanpa segan.

8. shahir
kawan se-plkn. kawan baik mr. hazlan. something happened back then masa kat kem. not something bad or anything. something yg tak involve-kan aku pun. cuma aku fell head over heels dengan dia. tapi last-last aku bercinta dengan mr. hazlan. dia tahu aku suka dia. kami pernah nak try to be something more than a friends lepas aku breakup dengan hazlan which is a year and half after plkn, tapi aku yang ubah fikiran. I couldn't get over hazlan fully at that time and he had some issues with his at-that-time girl too. sekarang? stay kawan dan in touch thru facebook. sometimes kalau dia boring dia call aku. dengar kisah cinta hidup dia plak. hahahaha. dia penah tegur cakap hazlan actually is quite a jerk. haha.

since mr. hazlan, which has been almost two years now aku masih single. haha. mak aku pernah bertanya "hang takda sapa sapa lagi ka?" which gave me a surprise. kebetulan time tu enam bulan lepas breakup. and I had issues with izzat. haha. banyak betul isu aku. -____-'' tu la, time mak tak bagi bercinta, aku bercinta jugak. bila mak dah tanya ni, amek kau terkial kial nak jawab. apa aku jawab? "takda sapa berkenan kat anak mak ni. bukan lawa pun" mak diam lepas tu tak tanya apa dah. kawan kawan mak n mak sedara serta sepupu pula yang take-over jadi tukang tanya.

as far as dah masuk universiti ni. i had only three.

9. naim *bukan abang aku*.
which I met at back then kat poli. shared the same birthday with mukhlis. and the face like izzat. something happened between us. which was not good at all. sekarang contact bila perlu. girlfriend dia sekarang kalau ada masalah dengan dia harus call aku. haha. miss love ke apa aku ni dengar cerita cinta orang je. bila ada isu dengan naim ni, aku jadi ralat sikit dengan lelaki. sebab waktu sesi bermesej dengan dia, i was being quite faithful towards him. since I didn't knew that every single word came out from his mouth was bulls***. kenapa quite faithful? sebab aku kalau dah suka, memang tak pandang yang lain.

10. you-who-read-this-blog a.k.a mr-only-I-know-who.
you know it. I know it. they *few of your friends* know it.

11. he-who-must-not-be-revealed
semata mata crush. untuk lebih dari tu? entah. mungkin. mungkin tidak.

haha. 14 of them altogether. quite a number la kan? know this. hanya seorang saja dari list ni yang aku bercinta dengan. lagi 13 tu semata mata crush. dan num 10 masih belum tahu arah tuju but for now we are friends *I call it friends, taktahu dia pikir apa?*. num 11? mungkin semata mata crush!

yes aku mudah menyukai. tapi aku jugak tak semudah itu. crush bukan bermakna sayang. haha. kan? kan?

dan kenapa aku tak jumpa orang lain? sebab aku tak berusaha mencari. haha.
dah la. nak pegi buat milo ais.

p/s. kenapa aku dah rasa tak segan untuk ekspress emotion aku. entah mana aku dapat courage untuk jadi camni. siap boleh listkan secret crushes of mine. haha.

deep inside

2011-03-04T20:34:00.000+08:00

This past weeks have been memorable weeks in my life regardless the ups and downs, well, even the globe turns around kan? It’s a good thing I’ve been patching up things with one of my besties. And it’s good to see friends having new relationship and being happy about it. The not-so-good-thing-but-I-can-still-handle-it is the fact that I’m single for a while now. Haha. Been jealous for sometimes now. Tapi aku still percaya there’s something very awesomely good for me out there for being single and happy about it for quite sometimes now.

Teringat kata kata fatin yang pesan that she wants to see with my other half soon and the next time we gather I’ll be with someone I can introduce to them as my significant other. Such a hard challenge for me. Haha

Aku ada sesuatu yang ingin aku bincangkan dengan seseorang but I can’t seem to find the perfect timing to talk about it. Actually I’ve been trying to keep a spot for this one person but lately I’ve become not so sure of this. Dear you, I hope you’ll read this and I know you are, you’ve become my blog reader since I told you I have a blog. I hope you will notice this and let me know when is the right time to talk, okay?

I’ve been very positive lately, too positive that I can’t even believe myself for being too optimistic about everything. But something make me realized that I don’t want to wait and get my hopes up high cause when it crushes down, it will take me down too. I’ve been in that situation before and let me tell you, I don’t like it a bit. Even one tiny bit!

As far living in Shah Alam, it has been good. Not great. Haha. Bukan aku tidak bersyukur dengan apa yang ada, in fact I’m really thankful, Cuma I’ve been missing perlis damn much! And perak too. Living in kolej cemara was one of the best thing that had happened to me sebab kat situ I met fatin, a dear friend I love so much, efa and few important others. Haha ada ke istilah few important others?

2011 will be a great year. Especially for this practical training period. I’ve been enjoying everything :)

And yes, I am hoping to find someone. It has been a lonely year last year. Sudah sampai masanya I spend my weekend watching movies and strolling around with seseorang. Haha.

And If tak berjumpa pun, I do believe it’ll be a great year. Turning 21 this year means I can start voting, embracing adulthood and make myself a responsible and committed person! And of course realizing my dream of becoming a designer.

Go! Go! Power Rangers, eh, Go! Go! Puteri!

p/s. to ann and mona, so happy for you both. be happy and don't break hearts :)

a gift for the present

2011-02-25T13:55:00.000+08:00

first dengar dalam reality show plain jane.

fell in love at the first encounter!

haha

similar to remembering sunday

which is so cool!

seriously, tehee~

2011-02-23T18:05:00.000+08:00

oh matluthfi. setiap kali tengok video dia ni, setiap kali tu jatuh cinta. and he is soon-to-be-an-architect! wish you well. keep making me laugh, yea? :)

another emo crap.

2011-02-13T00:25:00.000+08:00

nak tahu apa azam aku tahun ni?
be more clear on how I feel.

selama ni aku jenis yang reserved. aku simpan whatever aku rasa, fikir dan lihat. segala post dalam blog ni pun bukanlah jujur sepenuhnya. ada yang aku taip satu perenggan, last last tak published jugak demi nak cover rasa marah.

and now. aku marah. yes. marah to the point aku nak nangis. I held back my tears because I don't want to cry in public for silly reasons they'll think, while I don't. sebab kalau aku marah, dan aku simpan marah tu, memang automatik mata ni berair. I've warned you of my cengeng-ness.

it's sucks to stay at the lowest rank and it becomes more suck-ier to have someone pressing your mind while you're at your lowest energy, nowhere to go and no one to turn to. it's sucks living here right now. I'd be better of on my own for all I care. buat silap sikit kena marah macam aku dah hilangkan duit seribu juta malaysia. buat rajin sikit perli perli. buat apa apa serba tak kena. serabut. yes, SERABUT. I did said it right and it never came out wrong.

kenapa tak call ke, sms sesape ke?

dah la. aku dah give-up nak cerita masalah aku kat orang. putus asa samapi tahap aku dah malas dah nak bagitau apa apa. sms pun tak reply, aku rasa call aku pun belum tentu boleh layan.

and those are one of few reasons, aku dah mula tak contact kawan kawan, duduk dalam bilik terperap sehari tak makan pun takpe, duduk diam diam dalam kereta sepatah haram pun tak keluar dari mulut, tetiba tak reply sms, call sampai sepuluh kali pun aku tak angkat, nak balik rumah pun rasa macam tak mau balik sebab rasa "takda" kawan.

yes.
and if I annoy you so much, feel free to press the red X button up there, on your right.

yang emo.
aku.

its not a goodbye, its rather a see you again.

2011-02-10T21:48:00.000+08:00

two friends are flying to australia and new zealand tonight. am jealous of them sebab depa belajaq TESL, a course which I'm dying for sejak sekolah menengah tapi pandai pandai apply interior architecture dalam borang upu. nasib engkau la puteri. haha. first, najwaa muslim or awaa will be flying to australia, to continue in Macquerie, err, I may have spelled it wrong, so do correct me. and the other is a childhood crush of mine, a darjah 3 - darjah 6 classmates, anak teacher english kesukaan dan kawan now-still-have-a-crush-on-him, Ikhsan. he's flying to new zealand dan dengar cerita ke Octago. once again, do correct me if I'm wrong.

had to steal some pictures from FB. :) hope you guys won't mind and don't worry Ikhsan, I'm not that insane to guna-guna-kan kau. haha

here is awaa. adorable and available :)

one of the last hangout together, I think

me and her, a day out with Izzat

and

ting!

ikhsan

~~jangan mengurat orang lain weh. haha~~

~~aku jeles. hang aku punya.~~

to both of you, I'm missing you guys already.

take a good care of yourself. stay healthy and study don't joli.

Do include me in your salam perantauan or in case for awaa, have your anwarehadi said it for you thru his vlog. :) and for Ikhsan, haha, aku rasa satu kelas tahu yang dulu aku suka kat hang. haha. take care and aku tak sangka, hang pun jenih cakap banyak jugak noo. dalam SMS kemain lagi, chat kat FB pun sama. haha

and

lastly,

Do post me a cute koala bear, I mean it, KOALA as in real KOALA bear for me as well as a jar of snow from New Zealand.

Its a dream of mine to go and try my luck somewhere outside Malaysia.

You guys had your chance, so make me jealous okay! Supaya aku lebih berusaha untuk bersama anda :)

love.

puteri.

I mean it. I LOVE YOU and yeah, both of you.

ting!

nak jugak menyibok!

I fell in love

2011-02-10T20:30:00.000+08:00

with this guy.

bila awak nak masuk meminang saya?
haha.
:)

who will win

2011-02-04T00:45:00.000+08:00

ayam golek versus this

egypt and me 2

2011-02-03T20:45:00.000+08:00

tetiba terfikir.
revolusi di tunisia dan mesir pun ramai yang dah takut.

macam mana kalau revolusi dunia berlaku?
nauzubillah.

conclusion pantas yang aku buat.
revolusi dunia = umat Islam bersatu demi Palestin
which is equal to
one of tanda akhir kiamat menurut Islam

and I wonder
how America will react to this.
since they've shown part of their idea of how to deal with the end of world with Deep Impact, Armageddon, The Day After Tomorrow, 2012 and few more.

egypt and me

2011-02-02T20:58:00.000+08:00

apa signifikannya Egypt dengan aku?
kaitan yang paling rapat adalah buku ayat ayat cinta
lame, yeah I know -__-''
what the heck, aku suka lantak hang.

been reading about the Egypt crisis and I cannot lie about not following the updates thru here. and after reading Obe's article about Egypt, I decided to have a say in this too. since aamir also had his say yesterday.

My studiomate who is doing his practical at the same place as I am now was worrying about the Egypt crisis since it got worse. bila tanya, dia mengaku yang dia ada family and someone he cares kat Egypt. I was like " oh..really? how bad is it?" Aku sekarang memang tak amek tahu pasal perkembangan dunia. Fasha Sandha breakup dengan Jejai pun aku tahu melalui akak admin office aku time tengah tunggu fax. So, dari situ la Asyraf *studiomate* cerita bout this crisis. You know what exacly came to my mind?

"Undur Mahathir, Undur" haha. *pengaruh politik keluarga yang kuat*

honestly, Obe cakap kita tak perlu panik. ye, agree. Don't panic people. Stay calm, and stay rational. Yes, I don't feel as the same as you are since I don't have any family or friends *not that I know of* tapi like I said, don't panic. Obe got his points and his view and its up to him to feel that way, kan?

situasi ni semua tak jangka. dan to all the worried people, *mood serbanistas* ajal maut di tangan Tuhan. Allah itu Maha Pelindung, Penyayang dan Mendengar. pray and keep the doa. I am not siding anyone, neither Obe or anyone. like I said, it was unexpected. Do the Egyptians know yang that crisis boleh jadi macamtu sekali? Tak.

dan of course, how could I cakap dont be panic sedangkan they were talking about their sisters and everything. even dalam blog krisis mesir tu dah claim, they're looking for solution, bukan pergaduhan atau kecaman. dari kau kutuk kerajaan tak buat apa apa tindakan, better kau sendiri yang belikan tiket flight kat diorang tu, kan? they're doing, slow atau tak, THEY ARE DOING IT. kalau tak puas hati, next election, make up your mind and VOTE. senang. by looking at the above statement of Mahathir thing you should know by now which party I'm siding. tapi aku bukan nak berdakwah politik di sini. as far as I'm concern, selain abang aku yang sakit, I'm the least concern about the politic in the family. so, politic is not my main event here. in fact, aku taknak kaitkan politik.

but on the other hand, aku boleh bayangkan betapa susahnya untuk berfikiran rational bila ketakutan dan kerisauan. manusia boleh menjadi self-centered in split seconds. let say I got a kid *oh terlampau muda untuk mempunyai my own mini me* yang study kat mesir and kebetulan anak jiran *bukan jiran sebenar* pun study di mesir dan sama university. bila situasi macamni, of course time mintak maklumat, aku akan sebut nama anak aku dulu dan kemudian baru anak jiran. itupun kalau terfikir pasal anak jiran tu. what happens kalau anak aku terselamat, in worse case scenario la, dan anak jiran aku tu meninggal sebab rage yang berlaku kat sana? easier for me to say "Sabar Kak Nab *bukan nama sebenar*, dah sampai ajal dia," sebab anak aku terselamat. cuma natijahnya, akan rasa sekelumit guilty atau feel bad la sebab anak jiran *bukan jiran sebenar* tak survive. my point is, bukan anak kita seorang kat sana. eh silap, aku tak kahwin lagi. ehem. its not only your child in there. there's thousands. dan bayangkan kalau setiap mak bapak call lepas tu marah marah risau tentang anak diorang? seriously, I want to go and see the therapist si penjawab call tu pegi. Our people kat Mesir yang bukan bawah kerajaan pun tengah sedaya upaya buat kerja diorang kat sana.

So, dont panic and keep doa and the effort.

for the families, harap sesiapa saja yang di mesir tu safe and sound. insyaAllah, pelajar yang stuck kat sana mampu berfikir jalan yang baik untuk diorang sendiri dan which better way/people/side to follow in order to be safe. I can't imagine how anxious they are waiting to reach into your arms or even to get in touch with the families, just to tell them that they are fine and safe.

congrats buat team yang uruskan segala planning membabitkan evacuation ni.

23

2011-01-23T01:33:00.000+08:00

23 Things You Should Know, About Me

no, this not a tag.this is my entry of the week, I should say. since I've been quite busy these days.

1. My signature number is 23. I love 23. No, its not because of David B or Micheal J but yeah, a lil bit of Nathan Scott. Just, go figure.

2. I'm a coward. but I love Blair Witch Project as well as Paranormal Activity. weird huh? Yeah, I feel the same way too.

3. I love to read. My heaven is not a pair of Jimmy Choos or Christian Louboutins, but of course, I can't ever deny them either. I'd rather spent my money in Kinokuniya or Borders or MPH or Popular Bookstore. This is true. haha. You can laugh. But its true.Wah, main petik nama semua famous bookstore ni.

4. I do like branded stuffs. And most of my favorites aren't that cheap. But this is how I spend my money, if I like it, whether its cheap or not, I'd take it. My priority is my satisfaction. As Luke Brandon of Confession of Shopaholic would say it, You want your scarf, I want my hot dog.Cost and worth are very different things. Correct me if I'm wrong.

5. I'm a addict. I need to check into Betty Ford, Promises or something like that. My addictions are those followings.
- Facebook

- Korean Entertainment

- All Time Low, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and The Cranberries.

- Cheese Cakes. I'd jump if I see one at any store.

- New-addition-to the-list : Starbucks Hot Chocolate Hazelnut. Although I don't like chocolate at all, this one is an exception

6. I have/must/its a compulsory for me to have a drink or eat something RIGHT AFTER I brush my teeth. This is so true, since I was little.

7. I do cook. But I rarely cook for others other than myself. And I don't know how well I can cook. So don't expect anything from me. However, its a good thing that I love to be in kitchen, ~~not to eat~~, but to be behind the stoves.

8. I have a serious face. Seriously, you'd thought that I'm a never-would-put-smiles-on-my-face type of girl. The fact that I crack jokes and a real goofy are not known to strangers but my friends.

9. I'm a mummy's girl. I seek attention from my mom whenever she is around me. haha. Grow up Puts!

10. Whenever I go online, these four webs are on the tabs, automatically. Gmail, Facebook, Blogspot and Allkpop.com. Twitter is coming up next to these.

11. I goes by the name Liyanna Ahmad only through the internet. People knows me best with the name, Puteri. Why Liyanna? Since Liyana means gentleness, I want people to start calling me Liyana instead of Puteri. But hey, call me by whatever names you want, just do overreact about it. And no, I don't expect you to call me Gemok and anything related. I forbid you even to call that. By the way, I deliberately put the extra 'N' just to become poyo.

12. I'm extremely a sensitive person. But I hide my feelings well. I'm the type that forgive-but-never-forget and I don't keep revenge. Just the fact that I don't forget cause I hate getting hurt by the same people with the same issue. Well, sape suke ye tak?

13. The moment that I feel I'm being totally myself is back when I was in the National Service, whenever I'm with Fatin, my ex-roomate back in UiTM Perak and right now, sitting on the couch, typing this entry while getting annoyed having to watch Tottenham Spurs vs. Newcastle due to Noremon's EPL addiction. Sanggup bangun pukul 4pagi nak tengok Chelsea. okay la. lantak.

14. If I want to say something and I want to make it clear, I mean really clear, I'll be speaking in English. Yes, I'm a minah salleh wannabe.

15. I used to be in quite a lot of relationships. well, if you consider four is many, I'd take that. And few of my friends see me like I'm their Dr. Phil since I have many views on relationship.

16. I had an elder sister. But she passed away before I was even born yet. So, yeah, now, I'm the only daughter with four brothers before me. I rarely tell this to anyone. Its just till this day, I only say this in my heart, that I'm not the only girl in the family. I had a sister who awaits for me and the rest of family in heaven. Ironically, I would call her by the name Kakak Kema cause her name is Akmar, and I have "twin" which is my senior, whose name is Akma and her nickname too is, Kema.

17. My hair is black, long and straight. and I think I'm going to cut it short.

18. I don't like nasi lemak, roti canai or kuih muih melayu that much. eh, I do like kuih pelita. Ye ye, saya la minah celup omputeh wannabe tu. ye, tu saya.

19. I rarely listen to malay songs. This is how I got the nicname Minah Salleh Celup by my classmates back in high school. camnela nak jadi minah salleh kulit pun kaler macam ikhlas-tak-ikhlas coklat je?

20. I'm a paranoid. Super paranoid. Even you can't stand the paranoia I'm having. That's why this blog is filled with all those emo crap.

21. I hate crowded places. That answers why you wont find me in wedding receptions or any place filled with loud people, heavy music and budak-budak-perasan-dia-cool-habis-sedangkan-mak-aku-lagi-cool-dari-dia.

22. This actually makes me wonder, why I'm the only one who can fit in with weird-behaved people yang kalau boleh sebatalion manusia nak pulaukan? I even can talk for hours with those type of persons. pelik. pelik.

23. I'm a geek and super naive. But I do think I'm beautiful without wearing tudung and I'm saving this for my destined love of my life. perasan pun perasan la. kau tak suka boleh klik kat butang pangkah atas tu.

I got more. but like the title, this is enough.
enjoy the weekend


anak sedara aku memang cool orangnya sejak bayi.

I'm in heaven

2011-01-18T23:47:00.000+08:00

fell for this one over and over again

heaven
by bryan adams.

Oh - thinkin' about all our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free

Now nothin' can take you away from me
We bin down that road before
But that's over now
You keep me comin' back for more

Baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

Oh - once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feelin' down

Ya - nothin' could change what you mean to me
Oh there's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way

N' baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

I've bin waitin' for so long
For something to arrive
For love to come along

Now our dreams are comin' true
Through the good times and the bad
Ya - I'll be standin' there by you