March 10, 2015

two thousand and fifteen

It has been awhile!
I'm indeed, still alive and kicking.

Alhamdulillah, managed to complete my studies, despite all the drama I've been through last semester with studios and everything. Even the result couldn't make me happier.

Am not rushing to make myself sitting behind a desk, the 9-5 routine, even haven't start working on my portfolio yet. I've been busy. Sleeping. No, not really. Just kidding. I went straight home to Perlis after submitting my hardcover thesis to my coordinator, (bless you Doc Mat, for the marks you gave me despite the lousy student I was when you first met me), for my MUET exams and stayed for a fortnight. I've rarely been home since I started spending my sem's break working part-time. So, I took some time off, just to be with family especially for Mak. 

Between friends' weddings, eating, planning my future, we've (I live with my elder brother since I moved to Shah Alam five years ago) moved ourselves into new home, from Kristal in seksyen 7, to Setia Alam. I literally can walk to Setia City Mall, it is so near. So after MUET, I was busy moving, sleeping (I'm a Snorlax, what can I do? And I think I have a Jigglypuff trailing me from behind because I woke up with panda eyes every day now. Hmm.....) and driving back and forth to places. I guess, I'll just have to squeeze in some time to redo my portfolio works.

So far 2015 has been treating me nicely, I couldn't ask for more, Had an awesome birthday treat last December. Life has been such a bless. A bit short on money, but I've something in mind for that. Besides, Mak definitely wont let me starve to death I am sure!

I think I have to start exercising, getting myself physically fit. It has been years since I truly exercise. Starting with jogging, perhaps badminton dates, find myself a climbing partner or hiking. I have to! I need to! This body is turning weak already. Couldn't even walk so far without being breathless! Where did the 'fit puteghii' go to? *sigh*

p/s. does anyone actually read this (blog)? hmm. 

August 30, 2014

Growing Old

We're approaching the end of third semester of 2014 already. 
Wow! Time does fly.

Come to realize I have to face the fact I'm still in school, which I was supposed to graduate a year ago.

Why you ask? Don't ask.

InsyaAllah this will be the end. And after, I will have to really dig into my mind of what I really want to pursue for the rest of my life. I take my steps real slow this time. little steps. No rush. I have some plans. And I hope I can carry out those plans after graduating.

Meanwhile, friends are getting hitched left and right at the moment. Everyone is getting engaged or getting a husband/wife! Phew! Such pressure! Not that I am in rush to join the club, but little by little, I have this feeling, the feel of losing my friends. No more late night lepak sessions where we go nuts eating nasik lemak non stop and talking about "grownup" stuffs and go home by subuh time. No more "lets go" trips and adventure together. 

Tapiiiiii..I'm happy for everyone. Genuinely happy.

Perhaps we cant go all crazy but we can still meet up over some sessions kan~

And most of my closest friends are still not married/engaged yet. But soon they are. Cause every time we meet marriage talks are always the topic.

(Sigh) we're growing old.

I'm growing old.

and I'm not turning 24 til December.
Perhaps this is just me. kan.

Then kenapa mak tiba tiba tanya pasal boyfriend/bila nak kahwin lepas dah setahun lebih tak sentuh topik percintaan? 

p/s. lambat lagi. its been only three months.

June 27, 2014

Easy Pea-sy, They Say.

Mudahnya bila bertanya,

"Eh kenapa (isu)?"

Mudahnya bila persoal,

"Bukan ke hari tu (isu)?"

Let me break this down to you.
I am not you. I don't handle things like you do. 
And I don't feel oblige to answer to you, as if I wanted to.
And this is (sometimes) why I don't tell you things.

Macam mana kau tak suka orang persoalkan banyak tentang keputusan kau, sebab kau sendiri tak boleh nak bagi true reasonings, kau ada sebab sendiri,

macam tu lah aku.

Let me be.
Just be happy for me.
Just pray that I can pull everything together.

Separa aku sedang bahagia.
Separa aku sedang pecah dua.

Soalan 'kenapa' tak relevan pada halwa telinga aku, sekarang.
It's not helping.
It's just you, kepoh-ching.

p/s. Aku sedang cari erti kehidupan aku sendiri. Yang penting ultimate goal aku adalah untuk happy dengan life aku sendiri. Bukan turning a grumpy old lady belakang hari. Dan sekarang, aku tengah rasa jiwa kosong, soul-less. Duit boleh usahakan cari, tapi hati aku, kalau pecah, kalau merajuk, jiwa aku kalau hilang, siapa nak peduli?