Peace upon you.
These past two weeks had been one of active weeks of my life. Some of my days were productive and some, not much of activities but still the mind is getting restless and exhausting.
We're now at the first stage of design process which proposing a site for our final on going project, Boutique Hotel. since the lecturer has fixed what type of building according to groups, long story short, my group (consists of 9 of us) got the old traditional shop houses or in another word, heritage shop houses.
We ended up with the Asian Heritage Row at Jalan Doraisamy Kuala Lumpur.
Mere three weeks of crics and case studies later, after this schedule of accomodation thingy, we may proceed with our individual proposal of concept and images. I have few things in mind. Hopefully I'm in spirit enough to finish this semester.
Rasanya nak being alone for now. Being by myself.
This semester is somewhat tough. For now I can handle everything, but deep inside it is choking me to death. I need some fresh air.
Perhaps, I need Perlis. I need Perlis real bad. No place can calm me as Perlis does. No matter what happens there, it never fails me.
Lately aku berada dalam persimpangan. Antara mahu menjaga hati ramai pihak dan kemahuan sendiri. Boleh tak aku nak jadi penting diri dan terus dengan kemahuan aku sendiri?
Salahkah aku nak berpendirian macamtu?
Boleh tak aku ignore semua orang for the time being? Even to hold a conversation these days is hard for me without getting someone hurt. Mungkin perangai menyimpan mengumpul perasaan buat koleksi aku ni sebenarnya tak sihat.
Baru baru ni lepak dengan Anis and Hafizi kat Molek, since I want to take my ticket from Anis. Masa tu terdetik penyesalan pilih ID. mungkin sepatutnya aku pilih journalism. mungkin sepatutnya aku stick with diploma and go for degree in something else. Mungkin. Then I walked home from Molek. During the 15minutes walk, I walked quite fast though and without me iPod, banyak benda aku fikir dan rencana.
How to generate income without having to trouble le parents. I'm not going to shift the blame to anyone but, I admit, I've never actually realise what length had my parents had to go through in order just to keep us survive in our own world without us have to struggle much let alone working our ass off.
Aku anak manja.
Aku mengaku aku jarang susah.
Aku mengaku most of my stuffs are easily dapat. Even if its barangan turun temurun but still, aku tak pernah betul betul susah.
Tak ada kereta, abang abang aku yang drive-kan, hantar ambilkan.
Tak ada duit, call parents mintak bank-in kan. takpun mintak sepuluh ringgit kat abang amin.
Tapi aku kenal diri aku.
Aku tau aku ni sangat sangat penyabar.
Aku tau how hard life is.
Aku tau how much length I can go, how far can I stretch my limit.
Cuma.
Aku jujur.
Aku benci dengan situasi sekarang.
Situasi sekarang mungkin takkan menunduk dengan kehendak aku.
Tapi kalau tanya jujur dengan aku.
Aku memang cakap,
aku tak suka.
Tapi aku kena terima.
Dan aku sedang terima.
p/s. dalam proses untuk tidak mengambil peduli. sebab udara hidup aku dah capai limit yang mana kat mana mana pun aku sesak nak bernafas. bernafas untuk berfikir. bernafas untuk tenaga. sesak.
Rasanya nak being alone for now. Being by myself.
This semester is somewhat tough. For now I can handle everything, but deep inside it is choking me to death. I need some fresh air.
Perhaps, I need Perlis. I need Perlis real bad. No place can calm me as Perlis does. No matter what happens there, it never fails me.
Lately aku berada dalam persimpangan. Antara mahu menjaga hati ramai pihak dan kemahuan sendiri. Boleh tak aku nak jadi penting diri dan terus dengan kemahuan aku sendiri?
Salahkah aku nak berpendirian macamtu?
Boleh tak aku ignore semua orang for the time being? Even to hold a conversation these days is hard for me without getting someone hurt. Mungkin perangai menyimpan mengumpul perasaan buat koleksi aku ni sebenarnya tak sihat.
Baru baru ni lepak dengan Anis and Hafizi kat Molek, since I want to take my ticket from Anis. Masa tu terdetik penyesalan pilih ID. mungkin sepatutnya aku pilih journalism. mungkin sepatutnya aku stick with diploma and go for degree in something else. Mungkin. Then I walked home from Molek. During the 15minutes walk, I walked quite fast though and without me iPod, banyak benda aku fikir dan rencana.
How to generate income without having to trouble le parents. I'm not going to shift the blame to anyone but, I admit, I've never actually realise what length had my parents had to go through in order just to keep us survive in our own world without us have to struggle much let alone working our ass off.
Aku anak manja.
Aku mengaku aku jarang susah.
Aku mengaku most of my stuffs are easily dapat. Even if its barangan turun temurun but still, aku tak pernah betul betul susah.
Tak ada kereta, abang abang aku yang drive-kan, hantar ambilkan.
Tak ada duit, call parents mintak bank-in kan. takpun mintak sepuluh ringgit kat abang amin.
Tapi aku kenal diri aku.
Aku tau aku ni sangat sangat penyabar.
Aku tau how hard life is.
Aku tau how much length I can go, how far can I stretch my limit.
Cuma.
Aku jujur.
Aku benci dengan situasi sekarang.
Situasi sekarang mungkin takkan menunduk dengan kehendak aku.
Tapi kalau tanya jujur dengan aku.
Aku memang cakap,
aku tak suka.
Tapi aku kena terima.
Dan aku sedang terima.
p/s. dalam proses untuk tidak mengambil peduli. sebab udara hidup aku dah capai limit yang mana kat mana mana pun aku sesak nak bernafas. bernafas untuk berfikir. bernafas untuk tenaga. sesak.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Your two cents.