Pause

Coping with such whirlwind and trying to become normal again.
I just want to sleep. 
Be in a deep slumber so that I can put these past three weeks behind me and will forget about it eventually.

I just want to wake up and everything goes back to normal.
Wanting to pause everything and let me take a breather.
It's not that I cant cope or bear anything,
I just need a breather. 
A space of time where my mind is at peace.

I hate this constant throbbing.
I hate this constant downward spiral I'm seeing.
I hate this lone feeling.
I hate that I have to push through and pretend that I'm okay.

I'm not okay.
I just want to break down and cry and scream my lungs out.
I'm not okay.
I don't want to wish to be knocked down so that I can be unconscious.
So that i get to get away from my mind.
 
and I found myself wishing for that today.




I hate that everything that is me, is wrong.
Well I'm not okay, obviously.

How else do I pause the time and let me breathe?